Everytime I thought life is going to get better, it starts to fall apart piece by piece. Maybe I am too pessimistic. Or maybe I am not supposed to be optimistic at all. Squall was right. With higher hopes come higher expectations, resulting in greater disappointment.
Actually, they taught this in psychology too. When you open up to someone, you expect that someone to disclose some personal information of equal or more value than what you told him. Such is the law of a reciprocal relationship (if I still remember the terms correctly). When the other party stops reciprocating, then perhaps you should stop too. Or, you could have some faith, and continue to open yourself up, hoping the other party will do so eventually.
What if that never happens?
Then you will feel betrayed, hurt and cheated. And you will realized that the other party doesn't see as much value in you as you see in him. You were merely a tool, perhaps, a means of passing time when the other party was bored and needed some entertainment. A clown.
Sometimes, I am so sick of all this repetitive bullshit I just want to stop trying and just live life normally.
Seeing others getting everything which I wanted with minimal effort doesn't help to make things better, unfortunately.
Such mundane agonies can be avoided entirely by cutting everyone out of your life. Maybe not everyone but most people in general. After all, it is my life. Why do I have to seek other people's acknowledgement? Why do I strive to satisfy everyone? Why should I not be myself?
Squall got on by perfect on his own. In the game at least. Then again, isn't life just like a game, too?
