=15 things you didn't know about your penis=

1. Smoking can shorten your penis by as much as a centimetre. Erections are all about good bloodflow and lighting up calcifies blood vessels, stifling erectile circulation. So even if you don't care all that much about your lungs or dying young, spare the lil'l guy.

2. Doctors can now grow skin for burn victims using the foreskins of circumcised infants. One foreskin can produce 23000 square metres, which would be enough to cover every Major League infield with human flesh.

3. An enlarged prostate gland can cause both erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. If you have an unexplained case of either, your doctor's looking forward to check your prostate. Even if you are not.

4. The average male orgasm lasts 6 seconds. Women get 23 seconds. Which means if women are really interested in equality, they would make sure we have four orgasms for each of theirs.

5. The oldest known species with a penis is a hard-shelled sea creature called Colymbosathon ecplecticos. That's greek for "amazing swimmer with a large penis".

6. Circumcised foreskin can be reconstructed . Movable skin on the shaft of the penis is pulled toward the tip and set in place with tape. Later, doctors apple plastic rings, caps and weights. Years can pass until complete coverage is attained... Okay, I'll shut up now.

7. Only one man in 400 is flexible enough to give himself oral pleasure. It is estimated, however, that all 400 have given it their best shot at some point.

8. There are two types of penises. One kind expands and lengthens when becoming erect (a grower). The other appears big most of the time, but doesn't get much bigger after achieving erection (a shower).

9. An international men's health survey reports that 79% of mean have growers while 21% have showers.

10. German researchers say that the average intercourse lasts 2 minutes and 50 seconds yet women perceive it as lasting 5 minutes and 30 seconds. Are we that good or that bad?

11. Turns out size does matter: the longer your penis, the better "semen displacement" you will achieve when having sex with a woman flush with competing sperm. That's according to researchers at the State University of New York, who used artificial phalluses (ahem) to test the "scooping" mechanism of the penis's coronal ridge. Next up, curing cancer.

12. The penis that has been enjoyed most by women could be that of King Fatefehi of Tonga who supposedly deflowered 37800 women between 1770 and 1784 - that's about 7 ladies a day. Go ahead, say it: It's good to be King.

13. Better looking men may have stronger sperm. Spanish researchers showed women photos of guys who had good, average and lousy sperm and told them to pick the handsomest men. The women chose the best sperm producers often.

14. No brain is necessary for ejaculation. That order comes from the spinal cord. Finding a living vessel for the said ejaculation, however, takes hours of careful thought and, often, considerable amounts of alcohol.

15. The most common cause of penile rupture: vigorous masturbation. Some risks are just worth taking.

I acquired this very peculiar piece of photographic evidence. I wonder who it depicts. Whoever it is, he is in blatant violation of the Environmental and Public Health Act and ought to be prosecuted.

CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP!

why! why in the farkin hell did they assign me to this farkin bloody nonsensical place? did they just farkin create that bloody place so as to show ppl that we are given a chance to be on the ground instead of our usual 9 to 5 desk job?? did they create it to show others that we are capable of leading? farkin chee bye lah that bloody mother effing post is not even a ground post and yet they insist that it is. those son of bitches lying bastards.

i farking well know that i dint farking chose that place and yet they sent me there. and as if sending me to that god forsaken place which i farking did not wan to go is not enuff, that place they farkin took the liberty to send me to is bloody hell far from my house. THANKS ALOT SCUMS! fark your muthas to hell! fark them into bloody oblivion!

no amount of farkin profanity can express how deep my fury is at this farkin moment.

i am so sick of my own life. everything i wan, i won't get. those farkers always told me to "think positively", "be optimistic", "think on the bright side", "look at things from a different perspective". well fark them all to hell and fark them a million times over; thru their eyes, ears, nostrils and fark them with a bloody lance with spiked ends. rip their insides out those motherfucking bunch of farkin liars. i am so bloody disgusted by postivity when all it nets me are negativity. my fantasies nvr materialised but some of my bloody nightmares does.

farkin chee bye, this bloody world is nvr fair and it will farkin stay that bloody way. farkers like me shud jus accept life as it is and stop grumbling. "hey, thats wrong. your life is in your hands. you craft the chapters in your life. you determine your destiny, no one else." whoever says that deserve to be fark till the cow comes home and i will farkin impale him with a spiked flail myself.

wake up and face the farking cold bloody reality. u can farkin bluff and delude yourself by telling yourself "yes, i will work hard. i will work doubly hard." but in the farkin end, if someone bigger than you thinks otherwise then its all over for you. even certain circumstances can force u to give up the life of your dreams because no matter how hard u work, how motivated you are how inspired you are, all your farkin efforts will be in vain because of farkin reality. so dun give me those bullshit abt how my life is in my hands. i will fark you right thru your eye!

counting down: it doesnt farkin matter anymore. life is but a fleeting moment that farking arent worth paying attention to.

Back in Home Team Academy!

Weijie treated me supper; he bought a 6-inch Turkey Subway sandwich for me :D

How delightful..

I completed the 15km Real Run in 1hour 19minutes and 19 seconds today. It is 4 minutes slower than the mock timing which I ran last monday in HTA but I have no complaints because I made it below my 1hour 20minutes aim haha.

The sun, sand and sea felt so great as I ran past them! I am so in love with the wide open spaces of Changi Coast Road.

Some of the uncles running were damn zai. They even took the liberty to overtake me! People like them deserve respect, senior yet fit and sturdy.

In any case, a sense of accomplishment pulsed through every single vein and artillery(...) in my body when I crossed the finishing line. I think I did ok for my first quarter marathon hehe.

Counting down: 1+ days to passing out!

Walk-out walk-out walk-out day!

Today is our last walk-out day from Home Team Academy.
As with the past few days, we rehearsed our passing out parade today as well.

We will now be waiting for the arrival of Commander of Training Command.
Hormat commander! Hormat senja-ta!
We will now be waiting for the arrival of Commissioner of Police.
Hormat Police! Hormat senja-ta!
We will now be waiting for the arrival of the reviewing officer.
Hormat panglima! Hormat senja-ta!
The reviewing officer will now be inspecting the parade.
Inspection over.
Trainees that have done well during their training in TRACOM will be awarded...

I have been going through all these procedures continuosly for the past few days to the extent that I will even think about them when I reach my orgasm after copulating with a certain voluptious and seductious female. Maybe thats not a very apt analogy but you guys know what I am talking about.

To put it in nicer terms, the parade procedures are already boiled melon rotten ripe to me already. Hehe.

Today's rehearsal was vetted by our Commanding Officer Leadership Training and Fitness, Superintendent of Police Bernie Ho. Yesterday's was by Deputy Commander Training Command, Superintendent of Police Tan Chong Hee. Both Superintendents were satisfied with our parade generally though they also pinpointed out some segments which we could further improved on.

At night, we had our farewell nite dinner at the mess hall with the rest of the police officers that will be passing out together with us. Let's just say that the dinner wasn't exactly very enjoyable. There still exists some traces of animousity between us and them. The food contributed largely to the unpleasantness of the dinner as well. Our rice was cold and the keropoke we had became chewy (lose wind). Even our initially cold drinks became warm. It appears that our food was served nicely on the table half an hour before we arrived at the mess hall. We were expecting some good food considering that it was our farewell dinner. Even though we didn't get what we expected, we got a surprise. Shitty food again! We can always depend on CIAS Enterprises to provide the lousiest quality of food for our money. (E.g. If you pay $5, you will get the worst kind of food which $5 can buy).

I am eating Maggi Mee Chicken Tanmien as I wam blogging.

The 2 diamonds will come soon. Mwahaha!

Counting down: 3 more days to passing out.

Tonight, OCT 2 and OCT3 held a farewell party for us OCT1.


Seven months ago, our military NS life were abruptly terminated. I, along with 39 other lucky Privates, were suddenly entrusted with the responsibility to become senior police officers. We entered Home Team Academy as total strangers and now, we would be passing out together as the Guard of Honour next Tuesday.


How time flies.


Soon, each and every one of us will be posted to the various departments of the Singapore Police Force; some might see each other again in their postings while some might be the only one in the place where he is posted to. But, the 46th batch of OCT will never be the same again. These few days might very well be the last few days which we are together as a squad.


Once we embarked on our new NS journies, we will each be busy with our own stuff. Getting together as a whole squad again will be difficult, if not, unlikely. Perhaps some of us might still keep in contact but most often than not, we simply just move on.


The 46th batch of OCT, everything we did, will be shelved away in a corner of our minds. Ten, twenty years down the road, we might reminisce the times we spent in the Academy. We might remember our Chairman. We might recall our joker. We might remember the water wars. We might remember our Course Manager.


We might forget everything.


Nothing gold stays forever. Perhaps that is an irrefutable truth of life.

HUAT AH!

I JUST FINISHED RUNNING 15 KILOMETERS IN 1 HOUR AND 15 MINUTES AND 20 SECONDS.

I AM SO PRIDE OF MYSELF.

We spent the whole day today rehearsing for our passing out parade. It was so exhausting.

We kept doing the same thing over and over again; marching in, marching out, hormat senjata, durone senjata, slow march, fast march etc. Not forgetting to mention the countless minutes we have to stand still to simulate the reviewing officer's speech, waiting for the arrival of the guest of honor.

When there is really a reviewing officer up on the stage speaking, it didn't feel that long and unbearable because at the very least, the speech provide some form of distraction for us. When we just stood there, keeping darn still, pretending that there is an imaginary reviewing officer speaking to us, time seem to stand still along with us as well.

We also had to endure the constand shoutings and yellings from our instructors who would not hesitate to blast through the microphone at us if we were to make any unacceptable mistake (e.g moving while at sir dee ya position).

Guards of Honour...

Anyway, I started watching Jikoku Shoujo. It was somewhat occultish as I expected.

The anime is a series of short stories and each story describes the suffering of a different individual caused by one or more antagonists. A website know as "Hotline to Hell" may only be accessed at midnight by those who wishes to exact his vengeance upon his tormentors. Once someone submit the name of his tormentors on the website, the Jikoku Shoujo will appear before him. Upon the victim's (the one that submitted the name) consent, Jikoku Shoujo will send the tormentor to hell immediately.

But there is no free lunch in this world. In return, the victim will have to pay a heavy price. When the victim

Talk about revenge is a dish best served cold.

Counting down: 7 more days to passing out.

Goodness gracious me, I can't believe it!

I found a song which I have been looking for the past decade! No joke! I am so elated.

Its called "I saved the world today" by Eurythmics. The last time I heard it was when I was still a primary school kid. It was playing on the radio in a KFC outlet at Novena Ville. I was eating with my small aunt, my younger cousin and my elder cousin.

Mesmerized by the tune at that time, I sang the chorus, with my mouth full of Zinger burger, repeatedly. It was so enchanting...

"Hey hey I saved the world today.
Everybody is happy now, the bad things' gone away.
Everybody is happy now, the good things' here to stay.
Please let it stay..."

...until my cousin snapped me back to reality. Apparently she got disgusted by seeing the crunched up burger in my mouth and scolded me. I can still remember her words: "OEI! Eating sing what sing!". That shut me up.

How nolstagic.

10 years down the road. That KFC outlet has already closed down. My cousin who scolded me is already married. I am already 19. How time flies...

Anyway, I am not the only one that found some good stuff tonight.
My buddy Wedgie finally found an anime website which has "Jikoku Shoujo" (literally "Hell Girl") on it after searching for the past week. It was recommended by me initially for its occult-ness. Yes, I am interested in the occult; so is my buddy.

The first few episodes are quite nice according to him. I am gonna watch it soon too.

Counting down: 8 more days to passing out.

Finally found myself a decent blogskin. Something plain and simple and nice.

From my hunt for the right blogskin for my blog, I realised that there are alot of emo-ish, gothish and lovish type of blog skins. There are so many of them!

I wonder why people nowadays are so emotional.

Unbelievable! I've lost weight!


This Disney t-shirt used to be a tight fit for me but when I wore it today for the first time since January, it fits me like a slightly oversized t-shirt!






This proves that I have lost weight and along with it, my muscle mass! Argh!

The continuous running incorporated into my physical training program and the CMI mess food played a large part in the degeneration of my muscular physique.


The police force stole my masculinity from me!


I want ma muscles back!

"Every time after school during my junior college days, I would walk down Bartley Road to the bus stop next to Thomson Road. From there, I would take bus service number “131” home.

Every time I want to watch a movie, I would take bus service number “131” to the Shaw Plaza cinemas at Balestier Road. Along the way, I would pass by Thomson Medical Centre, Novena Square and United Square.

I passed by those buildings again today, not as a student going home on a bus, not as a civilian going out to have fun but as a police officer patrolling the streets in a police car.

A police officer with a mission; to eradicate crime and strike fear in all those that are inclined to criminal activities."

All right, the above paragraph was meant to be on this blog about one week ago on the 5th of October but I was lazy to type it then. Never mind never mind, it made it here today. You guys read it so I guess its fine.

Anyway its the introductory paragraph for my attachment report in case you are all wondering what the fish am I typing about. I was attached to Tanglin Police Division from the 5th to the 14th of October as part of my training for National Service Probationary Inspector.

We had a Scenario Based Training this morning. The squad was divided into two groups, the role players and the police officers. The role players would create trouble and the police officers were to attend to the scene of incident. This SBT further reinforces what I have already learnt during my attachment.

A police officer must really expect the unexpected. We do not have a single universal guideline on how to attend to cases. All cases are different and unique by itself. Therefore, it is imperative for us to have a flexible mind, initiative and foresight. We must also remember the 3 "C"s - Cool, Calm and Collected because as police officers, we must be in control of the situation and not let the situation control us. This can happen only when we have a clear thinking mind.

Then again, I don't think I am gonna sign on. So I guess it doesn't matter.

Ce qui est l'amour?

My buddy forgot to bring his Staff Work textbook home and asked me to meet him today so that he could borrow mine for photocopying. Irony is that he reminded me to bring home my Staff Work textbook on Friday evening and yet, he forgot his own.

We had lunch at Waraku restaurant at Starhub Centre. I ordered a Katsu Tomago Yogi Don (AKA Katsu Don) which I think is superb. I am gonna go back to this restaurant again to try out its other dishes.

There is something interesting about the items in the menu though.

Hmmm. Kinky? Or what. Ha. The caption doesn't match the picture in my opinion though.

The bloody barber screwed my haircut!

"Do you think your brain is more powerful, or a computer is more powerful?"

Most people would choose the latter choice because of all the things which a computer can do with ease; typing out documents, correcting our grammer, displaying tons of information, simulations, extrapolations, communication, entertainment, learning, storing colossal amounts of data, financial management - the list goes on and on. The computer can virtually do all the things that a human brain can't do and for the things that the brain can do, a computer can do better. No doubt, the computer is a wonderful and miraculous creation.

But there is only so much wonder about the omnipotent machine. All the supercomputers and other similiar machines are but just creations from the human brain. The human brain conceived them and the same human brain created them. Without this thaumaturgic core organ of ours, the world's computers would continue to exist as virtual reality. So would many other creations of ours.

The human brain is a very complex entity. You can take all the supercomputers in the world and put them together and they are still no where close to attaining the complextity of our brain. We know everything about supercomputers but we have yet to decipher all mysteries about our brain.

The thought that you are thinking now, are you leading your brain to think it or is your brain infusing the thoughts into you? Are we in control?

In any case, the brain is an amazing organ.

Hmm. Lets see.

I am trying to organize my thoughts and pen them down. My mind is in abit of a flur now.

Whats a flur? I dunno. Dun ask me.

I am just a normal average guy. Not those kind of ravers, revellers, emo-ers, punkers etc etc.
Yet sometimes, I try to be like them.

Its cool to be cool. Literally. To have many friends to chiong with you. Friends to party with you? Drink, smoke, eat, talk cock, fight and get busted together.

Sure is fun. But its so un me.

Perhaps I should just stick to the old me. The same me. The average me. The normal me.

I want to be more intellectual!

Why do I sound so emo or something like that?

Its because Ted busted my left eye with a squash ball flying at 50 metres per second.
I think some of my neuro nerves went haywire.

The 129th intake came in today. I was the emcee again.

Typical Singaporeans... the moment they hear the announcement "We have come to the end..", they would start to leave automatically, without waiting for the guest of honour to take his leave first. Tsk tsk.

It was a less-fit intake and there are about 400 of them. Its one of the biggest intake in this year. The academy is gonna get crowded.

Soon, I will see the United Nations refugees running around looking for their uniforms and other stores haha.

All right. I am such a happy today and yesterday night. Wonders do happen I guess.

Ted, Alfonsus, Kenneth, Julian, Elleen, Novi, Novi's boyfriend and yours truly had a mini gathering at Suntec City. We dined in together at Ichiban Sushi restaurant. The food wasn't half bad. The Nabei (Nabeyaki) Udon I ordered was good. The peach ice-cream I shared with Ted was sweet and delicious! If only it wasn't shared with Te.. never mind :D

Ted and I spotted this pretty cute attendant at the store. Ah-ha! What an eye candy.

We did some catching up with one another. Alfonsus was so happy because he found some army personnel with whom he can share his agony in Hendon Camp. Julian is on attachment to some logistics camp, talks about transferring over to police. Kenneth is learning how to ride a motorcycle. Ted is the same as usual; chest grabbing and neck choking. Elleen and Novi are both studying at NTU along with Florence. Elleen still looks like piglet. Novi has a boyfriend. What a pleasant surprise. Novi.. a boyfriend... hmm.

It was so nostalgic. I get to revel myself once more in these familiar company. My lame genes and retarded antics were suddenly revitalized! Somehow, it just feels so much easier to let my hair down and pull up my socks with my good ol' friends.

Probably thats why we are friends!

Hunks in White Cleaning Services Co.


Introducing our fledgling cleaning company with a promising future.




Just as our name suggests, we have hunks wearing white who will clean your apartments for you.

Not only do they just clean, they clean with grace and precision.

At the end of the day, come home to a spick and span home!

We were asked to go back on Thursday night and then released on Friday night. We could have the whole of this week off and the reason why we didn't is because they need us to go back for one day to prepare the accomodations for a neighbouring force that would be visiting us soon. Interesting isn't it?

Talk about making full use of manpower.

Let you guys guess what this arrow is for.

Hint: Neighbouring force coming over to stay with us. Our neighbours are predominantly Muslims.