Hey what's that?




OH MY GOD! Its WALL-E.




Wait a minute. Could it be Sonny?





But now it looks like... ANDROMON! CARP! ANDROMON is the harbinger of APOCALYMON!





But we are not in the virtual world... then it has to be Franky!





No no. It has got to be the TERMINATOR! I am sure of it. We are all gonna DIE!






The truth is, it is actually Optimus Prime doing some weekend shopping at FRED PERRY ----- NOT! (PS: This is a "Not" joke, something I learnt from watching BORAT!)



OKOK. The real truth is, Mr. Del Monte got to cos-play as the almighty OPTIMUS PRIME - defender of the human race - to promote the new Transformer movie. I heard he is being paid $25 an hour and he only needs to work on weekends! He even got to take a picture with Fiona Xie (not that I really care but I know some out there who do ^^) I should totally go quit my current job man. But if it was me, I will want to cos-play as BLACKOUT!








Too bad we didn't manage to take a photo with him. All because of ahem ahem ahem *coughs*
But its ok, I will try to do some photoshop or something.

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen has got to be the most action-packed movie of the year.

Before I go any further, to all those who gave the film any score lower than 5 out of 5 or the equivalent, I suggest you guys move to China and watch Big Opera and stay away from cinemas for the rest of your lives.

Yes, back to the action-filled robotic show. The plot is relatively simple: there are some leftover scraps from the Cube in Transformers 1. These scraps are key to unlocking massive energy. The Decepticons want to find the energy and the Autobots want to prevent the Decepticons from obtaining the energy. There you have it. Quite the classic plot with a protagonist side and an antagonist side. So you might wonder how could a film with such a simple plot last 2 hours and above all else, hit $200 million (and still counting) in box office sales within less than a week of its release?

Simple. Action. Hardcore Transformers fanatics. And Megan Fox.

The movie starts with heaps of action, moves along with even more heaps of action and ends with action. Action is the essence of the movie (so are comradeship, leadership, faith and what nots). You don't see an aircraft carrier sink everyday. You don't see an aircraft carrier sink everyday. You don't see an aircraft carrier sink everyday. Sorry, I just can't stress enough on my fave part of the movie. Neither do you get to see a submarine get violently un-submerged and ejected out of the ocean too. And when was the last time you see 2000 pounds of explosives explode (Tropic Thunder comes to mind)? And did you ever stop to wonder if that superhot female classmate could be a sinister robot in disguise biding for the right time to rip your ass in half? The list goes on and on...

Other than action, Transformers 2 also have joke scenes which are humourous to watch and the forever voluptious and scantily-clad Megan Fox waltzing in and out of the show from time to time. Whew. Damn you Beef Beef. Why did they have so much kissing scenes in the show anyway? It was totally redundant! Unless, of course, if I am the lead actor.

Fans might have something to complain about the show (much like how Harry Potter fans would criticize the Harry Potter movies and how Da Vinci Password fans would criticize the Da Vinci Password movie) but for non-Transformers fans like myself, Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen is one epic blockbuster movie of the year. So for those of you looking for a good movie this weekend, the choice is obvious. As for those who have already watched it, there is no harm in watching it again.

Gotta go to work at 1pm later on in the day. I sure hope I can catch some bastards today. Can't wait to be promoted!

An Apple a day keeps the doctor away. I suppose I won't need to see any doctors anymore because I will start using my MacBook Pro on a regular basis from now on. As a matter of fact, I am blogging with it right now. Oh man, I feel healthier already!

I originally intended to install Windows XP using the Boot Camp application and use it as my primary OS but have decided against the idea because... erm... well.... Leopard OS X has this mystical aura which will capture the hearts and minds of Windows users and cause them to defect over. Nah, just kidding. Truth is, I want to try out the graphical prowess of the good ol' Apple as well as to familiarize myself with the Leopard - to try out something new instead of sticking to the norm. 

Sure, I won't be able to play my favourite games on Mac but I am not supposed to game in school anyway and if I am at home, I will use my desktop to game. However, even if I can't overcome my addiction, I can always install Windows using Boot Camp and install a couple of games to satisfy my cravings. A MacBook allows you to enjoy the best of both worlds. I sure hope my uni softwares won't have any compatibility issues with Leopard because I am already beginning to fall in love with it.

I wish I can continue playing with my new toy into the wee hours but unfortunately, VERY unfortunately, I need to wake up early for my reservist tomorrow. I would have actually looked forward to it, until some juice came along and changed everything in the last minute. I really could use a juice punch now. 

Bah, what a chore. But I should have expected it because Assistant Superintendent of Police Dominic Tan used to tell me "Expect the unexpected". You peeps would do well to remember that.

Give me an invisible island in the middle of the Pacific now and I will stay there for good. Nobody to disturb me, no distractions, no stupid reservist, no temptations, no sorrow, no joy, no pressure, no stress, no expectations, nothing. Just me, my beach house and my island. It would be a paradise.

North Korea can start a nuclear war and wreck havoc upon the world. I will just enjoy the tranquility on my invisible and untraceable (hence, no bombs will hit me) island. The rest of the world can burn - I don't care. The world shouldn't exist without me anyway.

I want to revert to my old self and I want my island, now.

I am going to find this button inside my body, the button to restore my status to a prior date in my life (think System Restore in Windows and Time Capsule in Mac). Once I find it, I am going back to 22 June 2008. I might not be able to control time but I am going to control my mind. Nothing shall stand in my way.

Have you ever wanted something so badly but couldn't muster the will to achieve it? If you ever did, you would be able to synchronize with my feelings now.

Having loved and lost a few months back, I have since regained my composure and am seeking to move on to the next better player.

Random Pieces of my Random Existence in this Randomly Progressing World

Pikachu wears nice clothes! He looks so happy with his beaming smile I am so proud of him.

My butchering work station... tonnes of gore awaits.


Blatant display of obscene art!

Affectionate display of affection.

So I noticed this used condom pack while I was taking a break from blading some time back. I was at the top floor of a multi-storey carpark by the way.

This deceptively cute looking baby can be a monster! Watch out for her Fury Swipes.

More blatant display of obscene art.

Elmo seems to enjoy heading watermelons. (Slur intended)

I like this picture. It has the "Silent Hill' kind of effect to it.

The secret mastermind behind the most powerful Presidency in the world...

This state of the art modern chair will allow you to exercise your back while sitting for long hours to prevent those dreaded backaches and shoulder aches. Furthermore, it is the first chair (I believe) to provide exceptional genital comfort when you sit on it - ONLY if you keep your back straight. What an ingenious way to improve our sitting posture.

Normal chairs will press your "testicles" as well as the "root of the penis" but with this chair, you can enjoy continuous orgasmic sensation even when doing work. I suggest CitiBank change all existing office chairs to this one for the genetalic benefit for its employees.

For best results, try without undies.... hmm.... kinky.

Watch Creepy Chair Demo on CollegeHumor

The Seductive Fruit of Temptation

So someone decided to re-start his blogging activity again. I wonder how long he will last this time. And why do you have to keep posting weird Japanese stuff? Oh well, I guess they are entertaining. That is reason enough.

When you don't try, you don't get it.
When you try, you don't get it.

What's the point then?

Roca Almondo

Uncertainty. Secret. Hidden meaning.

These are attributes associated with me according to the Coffee Rune. I have to admit it really reflects me to a large extent.

Tonnes of movies will be released in the second half of 2009, which has already begun with the advent of June. Of all of the new films, there is one which I will definitely catch. The one and only one.





This is one epic movie and I love epic movies with lots and lots of action even if there are no relevant plot. The sinking of a carrier strike fleet in the Pacific has got to be one of the most epic scene ever created in a movie. That means I gotta watch it no matter what. And then there is also Megan Fox which makes this show even more worth watching. But nope, although the epic + Megan Fox combo is hot, it is not enough to make this the one and only one film which I will watch.





Iron Man 2. Part 1 was nice and I am looking forward to see what the next installment has in store for me but missing it doesn't really matter either.





Girls (and some boys) try to control your emotions a little. I am not exactly a big fan of it but I know many out there are so I just want to tell all the fanatics out there that yes, your second episode of Twilight is coming. Brace yourselves for all the vampiric action. I will be preparing my garlic and holy water at home.





Right. Harry Potface - Potter I mean. As with all movies which were adapted from novels, this ongoing wizarding series is way better in its paperback edition. Too much content has been shaved just so to make the movie of an acceptable duration and that means there are many abrupt scenes in the show. If you have read the book (like me), you would probably be able to catch what is going on in the show. Otherwise, you might be left wondering how the heck did this scene suddenly lead to the next. (Oh, its a Harry Potter film. It has to be MAGIC!) Anyway, for all the fans out there, time to take out your Hogwarts cloak and hat and prepare for the gala premiere of the show where wizards wannabes will gather at certain cinemas to witness the magic - AGAIN.





With all the superheroes flicks coming out in recent years, its about time the most super of all superheroes gets his time on the silver screen! Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you CAPTAIN AMERICA! And no. I am not being bias. Really. My instincts tells me that this will be a very good show. In dark times like this, there is only one person we can count on to bring us salvation. And that one person is CAPTAIN OBAMERICA! This is the ONE AND ONLY ONE film which I will watch NO MATTER WHAT --- in 2011 that is. Hehehe...





Now this is one refreshing movie. I don't really know what it is about but it gives me the impression that it is going to be something like Metal Gear Solid 3 (my favourite game) and this unidentified hot female featured in the poster might be someone like The Boss (my favourite character). Then again, it might be better for me to not bet on it.





Now now this seems to be a promising horror film and I totally dig horror films. But looks can be deceiving, as in the case of Cloverfield and The Day the Earth Stood Still and The Happening and The Village. Ah never mind. Even if I don't catch it in theatres, there are many other channels I can watch it on.





The Final Destination. Isn't it interesting to see how many different ways a person can die in? Maybe its just me. Anyway, the Final Destination series is already getting somewhat moldy. Different groups of people dying in different ways because they escaped from death in different ways at the beginning of the show for 3 times. The temptation of the new methods of dying in this new installment might be the only thing to tickle my interest but I think I will pass if I were to end up laughing like a hyena while watching this show.



Now, the time has come to unveil the ONE AND ONLY ONE movie which I will want to watch this year! The one movie which has truly caught my imagination. I give to you people:














TAMAGOTCHI THE MOVIE



This is simply too wonderful. No words can describe the amount of happiness which flooded me when I saw the poster for this movie. Its like a dream come true for me! Embrace yourself once again in the land of fantasies where you will never grow old and die. Where you won't have to worry about the difficulties of life. Where all you need to do is just feed your tamagotchi, play with it and clean its shit and remember to turn off the lights for it too when it sleeps.

Relive your happy moments once more. Watch Tamagotchi The Movie!

Bald is the new sex appeal factor.

One and a half months of short-lived flings finally ended tonight.

One. Two. Three. And almost four. But enough is enough. Time to settle down. Seriously, I have to practice more self-discipline in future to avoid depleting what little I have left of my financial freedom. The stupid thing I did in just a span of 40 odd days!

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The original Pixon.


Fake Nokia 8800 ArteWhich I was duped into buying.


Authentic Nokia 8800 Arte


Nokia E71


HTC Touch Pro; for better or for worst, I didn't get her.


To be continued...

"A customer, well-taken care of, can be worth more than $10,000 worth of advertisement."

This could be the beginning of it all but the beginning will end with an ending. Instead of thinking about the end, one should look forward to the middle. But being the middleman is very tiring, especially when you need to keep the front and the end in balance. Then again, its the middleman's job to ensure that the beginning begins smoothly and the end never comes, or at least end peacefully. Furthermore, whatever ends will begin again and whatever begins will end again too. It is a never-ending cycle of beginnings and endings, inceptions and cessations, start and stop, commencement and termination.

Victory and defeat. Honor and dishonor. Life and death. Each goes hand in hand.

Opportunities await.

Find the Holy One. Kill her?

勉強する

勉強する

勉強する

I took half day off today to revise for my upcoming Japanese exam. I found out that 2 weeks of neglecting my Japanese revisions have reverted me to one and a half years ago when I am still a standard Singaporean student proficient in English and Mother Tongue only. I really need to practice more. Maybe I should start to randomly blurt out Japanese terms and phrases during work or maybe I should defect over to the Sumitomo Mitsui Banking Corporation who is just our next door neighbor.

Studying at this familiar late hour on the familiar kitchen table in the familiar kitchen... it reminds me of the time when I was mugging back then. There was one night when I even had a showdown with this dangerous looking unidentified green insect which had the audacity to invade my studying space. Of course, it died a miserable death in the end, thanks to yours truly and a bunch of rolled-up newspapers. Looking out the kitchen window, something else came to mind. I used to do that every night in the past. Not anymore.

Enough with the reminiscing part. The important thing now is for me to piece together a reasonably long Japanese composition for submission tomorrow. But I really have no idea on what to write. I wished my sensei had given us a topic instead of giving us a free essay. I could crap again but it would be meaningless. I know. I will just cut away the bottom half of my homework which contains the composition part and tell sensei tomorrow that he didn't gave me a complete set.

Nobel Prize for the shittiest excuse? Nah. I am pretty sure someone out there can do better than me.

got abruptly woken up in the wee hours of the day. and really abruptly. its like you were driving on the road and listening to Me so Horny by 2 live crew when suddenly a T80 main battle tank just crash into you at break neck speed from the side, forcefully removing you from your manly existence in this world. your soul ripped apart from your flesh in a flash - that kind of abruptly.

jin at the wheel of his GTR-34 listening to 2 Live Crew: I am so horny... i wont tell your mama if you dont tell your dad... i know he'll be disgusted if he sees your pussy busted..... I am like a dog in the heat a freak without warning..... i have an appetite for sex coz me so horny..... horny horny horny.... AHHHH where the fuck did this soviet tank come from?!

JI BAH BOOOOOOOMMM

st peter talking to jin at the pearly gates: my child, what were you thinking of before your untimely death?

jin: me so horny.

st peter: YOU ARE GOING TO HELL!!!

"Show some respect."

Ha. What a joke. Who are you to tell me that? Do you even understand the meaning of that statement? And I really must thank you for telling me that in front of everybody. I appreciate the free publicity. So you feel that I haven't been showing you respect? Let me tell you this, you are in no position to talk about respect with me, sucker.

"Gave you too much freedom."

Wow. So that made me into a rebellious person who don't know how to show any respect? For goodness sake, stop using euphemism such as this to delude yourself. I am impressed that you have the cheek to even mention that. How hypocritical. The fact is you are too busy with your own stuff that you don't have time for me. You don't even know what I do everyday.

Whatever you tell me, I complied. I behaved myself and didn't gave you any unnecessary trouble. It doesn't matter that you don't have time for me. After all, I don't expect you to babysit me, I am old enough to look after and think for myself. Today was a complete insult to me. I am offended.

If you don't like me, tell me straight to my face. I will just do my part and nothing more. Then when the time comes, I will break all ties with you. Simple. If you happen to chance upon this blog, I have something I want to tell you.

Fuck you.

An elderly couple wanted to go for a morning walk on top of the hills so they woke up early one morning and took a bus to the hilltop station. A few moments after they alighted at their destination, a boulder came thundering down the slope and crashed into the bus, smashing it into smithereens. There were no survivors.

"If only we didn't got down," said the elderly woman.

Usually, people will be thanking the heavens for their good luck that they got off the bus and managed to survive. Why then is the elderly woman thinking the opposite? It is simple. If the elderly couple hadn't got off, the bus would be able to drive on continuously and missed the crashing boulder.

We should always be mindful of others when something happen and not simply just think only of ourselves. Get out of our own world and empathize with those that are in trouble. Bring out the kindness in you. Show the world that the Singaporean Altruism is real.

During the Ancestral Worshiping Festival, it is common for chinese folks like my family to burn joss paper for our departed ancestors. The joss papers always come in a tightly-bundled stack and we will usually twist and turn the stack to fan out the individual joss paper. This makes it easier for us to pick out the joss paper to roll and twirl them into a cylindrical-like shape, something like this:











For this year's festival, I didn't really helped to do much rolling and folding of the joss papers. Maybe that is why I have to turn and twist this huge pile of letters, which has to be sent to our customers, the other day to fan the individual pieces out for easy slotting into the envelopes.




















Bah. Whatever.

Raindrops keep falling on my umbrella! Ella ella eh eh eh falling on my umbrella~

The almanac predicted that I will have good fortune streak in this year of the Ox. If it is true, Fortune probably haven't located me yet. However, from the looks of it, I am pretty sure it had already missed me. I made several unsound decisions regarding financial expenses recently and I am not sure what to make of these expenses. Justified? Retail therapy? Or simply just pure wastage?

Now that I think back, I really should have controlled my emotions better. Of course, if only I had. I realized sometimes, people need to go through one big circle before reaching at the same conclusion, which he could have reach too by simply taking the direct path that was laid out in front of him initially.

My best buddy is now in the Land of the Rising Sun, enjoying his 2 weeks long vacation.

DAMN YOU BITCH! I WANT MY VACATION TOO!

*Ahem* Don't mind me.

Oh well. Life is still pretty much the routine home-work-home-work-home, 5 days a week for me. I really do not agree with the idea of trading time, MOST of our time in fact, for money. This is a FREE WORLD! We should not be slogging our asses off just so our employer can function and prosper! Furthermore, slogging our anuses off may not necessarily guarantee us equivalent compensation in return. Those who do get astronomical salaries most probably do so only after years of slogging for the company. But comparing what they have to sacrifice in return, the salary suddenly don't seem so astronomical anymore: countless hours of work (practically half their life or even more), endless meetings to attend, infinitely many brainstorming to come up with new policies, tonnes upon tonnes of responsibilities, endless flow of decisions to make (making a bad one might earn you a vacation, permanently) and ultimately, stress, stress and more stress.

Think again. Do you really want to waste your precious life away on this thing called work? I seriously believe all of us deserve better. I have the perfect solution to this. One which will relieve us of the trials and tribulations of life and solve all our financial issues at the same time as well. Death. If you are dead, you won't have to worry about anything anymore. So the next time when you feel that you would be better off dead, you are most probably right. So don't hesitate to slit your own throat or gulp down that bottle of bleach. After all, we only get to die once. No big deal. But before anyone of you get the idea of STOMP-ing my blog for advocating suicide or worst, report my blog to the Police (which would be myself), I have to make it clear that I am not encouraging people to commit suicide. I am just blogging a brainless entry on a sun-less night.

But, what if there are really people who commit suicide after reading my blog tonight?
Rest in peace then.

And for that person who is enjoying himself there, don't forget to bring back some presents. I am expecting my Pikachu hoodie.

God bless America.

Ahhh!!!!

Money money money! I seem to be running out of cash all the time and I am getting increasingly nearer to becoming a bankrupt! My Noble $2 Chicken Rice Operation is a really effective money saving scheme but eating 10 packets of it every week is seriously no joke. Remember how we use to count ourselves lucky for not being enlisted into Commandos training? My Chicken Rice Operation is equally, if not, tougher than the Men of Steel with the Crimson Beret.

Two packets (one for breakfast and lunch) for Monday is cool, the Chicken Rice tastes fantastic. Two packets for Tuesday and you start to feel so-so but the Chicken Rice is still edible. Two more for Wednesday and you feel like you are in deja vu, wondering what you have been eating for the past two days. Come Thursday you will start to doubt your memory and wonder if your taste buds have been programmed by default to taste chicken rice only. Another two more for the next day and you wished you NEVER thank god for Friday. Come next Monday, you will be on your way to the hospital for gastric lavage.

If you are strong enough to endure through this operation for 3 weeks, you will contract Avian Flu and die. Only in very rare cases will there be people who can last more than 3 weeks; these people are usually abnormal and they are most probably on their way to evolving into a Chickman species. I have never actually seen one before but hey, the world is big and there are infinite possibilities. Do let me know if anyone of you ever witness this Chickman species.

And no, don't look at me. No doubt I may be the creator of this Noble Operation but even the great I can only last through 2 weeks tops. I wonder if there are any better ways to save money. Perhaps I should try eating French Loaves instead! I might be able to evolve into a Frenchman!!! On second thought, I think I am fine the way I am.

I have been chewing my food with the right side of my mouth for the past week because this homeless ulcer from somewhere decided to set up its humble abode inside my left mouth. Although the ulcer is disappearing, my right side has been sore with all the extra chewing that it seems to be growing another ulcer again. Never mind.

For lack of better things to do on a Sunday night, I decided to create this hypothetical poll because I am very curious to know what others will do if something like this happened to them. Here goes.

Suppose one day your wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend were to cheat/intend to cheat/almost cheat/conspiring to cheat on you irregardless of whatever reasons he/she might have, would you rather he/she tell you the truth? Would you be willing to sit down and listen to his explanation before deciding what to do, be it to go seperate ways or continue to move on with a renewed pledge of love?

OR

Would you prefer him/her to lie to you and deceive you so that you can continue to believe erroneously that you are the one and only in his/her life? As long as he/she continues to be together with you, you can forsake the truth and live in your delusional beliefs.

OR

You are a bitch/bastard as well who have been two timing your wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend all these times when you are together too.

Right. The question have been asked and the floor is now yours. Let me know what you guys think. By the way, you can only vote once so please vote carefully.

Truth or Lie?
	Come clean with me and I might be benevolent.
	Keep me in the dark so that I can continue to remain happy.
	It doesn't matter. I am doing the same too!
pollcode.com free polls

Nothing on Earth can quantify the amount of frustration in me now. So there is no point talking too much about it. Just know that I am V-e-r-y angry.

Grrrr!

Today's Japanese test was a piece of cake. Really. I chomped it up with but a mere two chews. I will be advancing to the next level soon. And that means I need to pay the fees for the next level too! Its a $267.50 bill mind you. But never mind. This is a self-investment. Like someone great who told my 7 months long sleeping buddy (his my camp mate. CAMP MATE!) "When you are young, try to learn as much as possible for you will never know when the skills you have mastered could aid you in future one day."

I have to second that. It makes perfect sense. I might end up working for the Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency. Or becoming the Japanese voice actor for Pikachu in Pokemon God-knows-what-version. Or a Tako Pachi vendor in Tokyo Park. Or a Ninja! Samurai! Bushido Warrior! Pornstar! Hard --- what? Never mind. The point is it will be useful to invest in yourself and learn new stuff so as to differentiate yourself from the 6,769,999,999 (six billion seven hundred and sixty nine million nine hundred and ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine) other Earthlings.

Just to quote from a vaguely familiar source - Live as if you are going to die tomorrow. Learn as if tomorrow never comes. Take note of the "if"s.

Oh. Actually, one probable and realistic use which I have for my knowledge of the Japanese language now is to get a Japanese girlfriend! My very own かのじょ. And then I will go 楽しいですよ! Who knows we might even have キンキ sex. a-ha a-ha a-ha a-ha a-ha a-ha a-ha a-ha a-ha a-ha a-ha a-ha HA-CHOOO

no. I am not grinning at my own post like some retarded kid. really. just an innocent sneeze. *snorts*

Its been awhile since I woke up feeling good - a deviation from the norm where I will dread to open my eyes in the morning, cursing at the notion of having to work. I went to bathe happily. I changed into my working attire happily. I went out of the house happily. I bought my usual chicken rice happily. I walked to the MRT station happily. Everything was happy. It is like a special day where you feel that everything is simply wonderful. I even had a pleasant surprise towards the end of the day!

As the final few rays of the setting sun hit the cascading terrace of the Mandarin Oriental Hotel, another day of work has come to an end yet again. But this is also yet another prologue to a new day of work tomorrow. Working, working and working still. At least my job now is a little livelier in this never-ending cycle of labor.

The paradox of loving and hating someone at the same time is most... incomprehensible.

Too much have been said and done.
Never mind, i will be fine on my own.