I went to help my cousin prepare her speech for her upcoming test this Thursday. The topic is "How you felt on the day of your graduation from secondary school". She is supposed to come up with a script that is at least 4 minutes long but not more than 5. In order to meet the criteria, we threw in quite a fair bit of bullshits here and there. Ahaha. Hey! Don't look at me like that. Bullshit gets you everywhere in life IF used appropriately!

Anyway, her topic is a relatively easy one. We just need to recall what exactly happened on her graduation day and put it all in chronological order. Then she just need to blurt everything out and tell her audience about it. I can't imagine having to talk about "Who was your first date and how did it end up?" or "Talk about one pleasant/unpleasant experience which left an indelible mark in your life." The former might be to awkward to talk about in front of 20 people, most of whom are classmates which will be spending the rest of the semester with you. The latter is way too difficult to come up with probable and believeable bullshit - if you know what I mean (c",)

So, at the end of the day, after intensive brainstorming, our script, or rather, HER script was created. The introduction and conclusion part were exceptionally well-crafted thanks to you-know-who. Please, add in the special "Thank You" section for greater effects!

Come to think of it now, the questions given to her sounds much more like essay questions to me. As a matter of fact, there were several times where we add in too much details into the speech that it almost sounds like we are dictating an essay instead of crafting a speech. The thought of having to present these questions through speech never once did cross my mind. Hmmm, the disparity in the things we learn in JC and Poly.

While thinking of the speech, I got bored and looked around the room. Then I saw this cute little thing which I can't resist but snap a shot of it with my phone!

And after that, I went to M Sq. and saw an ever cuter thing which I definitely have to take a photo of! I almost went on stage to take a photo with it!!!

PIKA PII!

What in tua pek gong's name is the Burmese Government doing? Forcing the Cyclone Nargis's refugees back to their devastated homeland without giving them any food supplies, tools and shelter! This is akin to forcing these poor civilians to death!

The government's reason for doing so is because they want the refugees to start reconstructing their destroyed homes and farmlands to help revive the country's economy.

WHAT THE FUCL REASON IS THAT MAN!

Without proper shelter, clean water, supplies, tools and other aids to rebuild their homeland, how the heck does the government expect them to survive in the wild? The refugess have practically nothing to return to! Cant the Burmese top brass see that?

I bet they must be dumb and retarded to not realize the folly of their actions. NO! They are downright asinine! A bunch of demented pigs in power!

Tua pek gong please save the Burmese refugees!

Grrrr. This display of an obviously erroneous policy reflects on the incompetence of the Burmese government. What an utter utter mis-management of crisis and resources.

If they can't rule the country, let me do the job for them.

First thing I will do is to crown myself President for life with unlimited judicial, legislative and executive power. Then I will start picking my Cabinet members.

Hmm.... Its not such a bad idea hehehe. Right. Off to create and plan my empire now.

What the fish?

Back in 2000, the price of one barrel of oil is $25.
Now in 2008, it shot up to $125 per barrel!

A $100 jump in just 8 years thanks to Mr Bush messing with some oil producing countries in the Middle East. No wonder every driver is complaining nowadays about the exhobitant oil prices.

If I had known this is going to happen, I would have stockpiled barrels of oil at home and then sell them now to make big money!

Hmm... Interesting. Another idea comes to my mind almost instantly!

If I can dominate the global oil industry, I can practically dominate the entire world!
My evil plan to conquer the world!

Whichever country refuses to submit to my will shall risk having their crucial economic installations shut down; no oil will be sold to those that disobeys me! And because I dominate the oil industry, I can sell at any price I like! $5000 per barrel... sounds almost like an instant way to become the richest man on Earth. Mwhaha.

But first, I must find some way to unite all the major oil-producing country under my glorious banner. I will probably go and join the ranks of Gazprom, Russia's multi-national oil conglomerate, and then slowly rise up the corporate ladder. Then once I become CEO and the chairman of the Board of Directors, I will use my financial power and the political power I have from Kremlim to coerce those oil-producing nations to ally me!

They either join me, or face total annihilation by my invincible space cannon (courtesy of the Russian Space Agency)! I will have total control! With that, China, America and other so-called superpowers can kiss my a$%!

Mwahahaha. There is no need for war! I just need oil to rule the world!
Just you all wait and see!

News Flash : Today the world was stunned by the news of the death of the Energizer Bunny. He was six years old. Authorities believe that the death occurred approximately 8:42 PM last evening. Best known as the irritating pink bunny that kept going, and going and going, "Pinkie" as he was known to his friends and family was, alone at the time of his death. An emergency autopsy was performed early this morning. Chief Medical Examiner, Dura Cell, concluded that the cause of death was acute cardiac arrest induced by sexual over-stimulation. Apparently, someone had put the bunny's batteries in backwards and he kept coming, and coming, and coming...

Currently idling Staff Officer to Head Operations and Training recommended me this anime called "Ghost Hunt". The plot revolves around this ghost hunter, Shibuya Kazuya, who is the director of Shibuya Psychic Research. Upon receiving a request from a client, Shubuya will investigate into the paranormal activities afflicting his client. At the end of the day, he will always solve the problems; only after having faced off with many spooky incidents.

"Ghost Hunt" is a rather educational anime too as many forms of curses, rituals and other similar items were mentioned in it. Those looking into occult stuff might want to give it a try.

I was browsing the our local Singapore Paranormal Investigators website for ghost stories just now and found a particularly funny paragraph in one of the stories:

"Conclusion was that the club was supposedly to give offerings to the spirits there. So they invited some bomohs down, but the bomoh said these are Chinese ghost."

So... racial stratification exists even after death?

First Myanmar and now China.

Mother Nature is unleashing her fury upon us! You must stop reading my blog and shut down all electrical appliances now. Stop going to work and stay at home.

Back to basics. Let us re-live the natural life in the past.

Pollute the Earth no more.

Or risk facing Armageddon.

The end is near.

11min 04s

Are we advancing towards evolution or devolution? Why does the latter seems more like the direction we are heading towards to me?

To lock away our true selves and pretend to be someone else. Can one really find contentment in doing that? Whatever happened to altruism?

"Master, as you requested, I have concocted the poison."

"Excellent. So, how is it like?"

"Lethal. Absolutely lethal. It is tasteless, odorless, colourless and the best of it, it does not leave any traces in the human body. It can kill a grown adult in less than a minute."

"Impressive... lethal... brutally lethal."

"Indeed. It would not be exaggerating at all to call it the Most Potent poison in the entire world!"

"Most Potent you say... is there anything deadlier than this?"

"Yes there is."

"What is it?"

"The human heart."

"The heart...? Ahaha. Well said. I thank you for delivering to me this Most Potent poison. You have lived your purpose, I no longer have any use for you and I only trust the dead to keep a secret..."

"Master, you!? Have mercy!! Noooo."

..........

"God created men but Colt made them equal" is an apt statement to demonstrate the disparity in the strength of an armed man and an unarmed man.

The naturalists will preach that humans should employ natural, routine physical and mental training to augment individual's strengths in the body and mind. Think Bruce Lee and Mike Tyson. Bruce Lee is one of the most renowned Chinese martial artists in the history of mankind while Mike Tyson is one of the most feared opponents in the ring. But their brutal strength and deadly accuracy didn't come by chance; they have trained for their whole lives to attain their physical power.

But, so what?

Why spend a lifetime training just to be strong and miss out on other good things, such as sex, booze and weed?

Humans are intelligent creatures. Perhaps too intelligent for its own good. But, we were bestowed with this "intelligence" in the very beginning. As usual, we always manage find a way to defy nature and do things our way.

The advent of firearms rendered the notion of natural training to enhance one's strength obsolete. With a gun in hand, you can easily take down an unarmed opponent, even if he is an unparalleled martial expert like Bruce Lee. Oh. For your information, Bruce was assasinated by a gunman. He died well before his time. All the time and effort he spent in building up his physical strength has gone to waste. Thanks to a bullet from a gun.

So people. Now that you know the truth, you can continue to enjoy and revel everyday. Do not worry about your physical well-being. You just need to own a gun and you will be strong! Do not have to be afraid of those so-called martial experts. Just erase them with but a click on your trigger! See! That itself is strength! You can literally kill someone with your finger!

You don't have to worry about those super fast gong-fu and bullet catching tricks which is so prevalent in the movies nowadays. Let me assure you that they are nothing more than bullshit. Just one shot to any body part of a human will be enough to put that person out of commission.

Alright. Let me come to my main point today. I discovered a new passion for guns!

This is the Colt King Cobra revolver. Cool eh! It fires 0.38 caliber magnum rounds; these are enough to throw a grown man off his feet if shot.

11 minutes 15 seconds

I pledge alliance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with justice and liberty for all.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am pro-American and I am god-damn proud of it!

Someday, the world will open its eyes.

Wahahahahahahahahahaha.

IPPT IS COMING SOON!
Just went running today - for the first time in SEX MONTHS! Ooops. Six I mean.

I stopped running ever since I started my office job in mid-November last year.
Everyday since then has been computer, lunch, computer, go home, play game and sleep~
Over and over.

Until the fateful announcement: YOUR IPPT IS ON THE 6th OF MAY!

Its $200 on the stake man and I am not about to let our rich government swallow that money. I am gonna POCKET IT and spend it on something.

But easier said than done. SEX months of that office cycle can really kill your fitness. Not to mention my recent crave for coca cola everyday!

But I am still not gonna let the $200 slip away!

Just you all wait and see!

The world is not a pretty place after all.

The foibles of politics and the march of time can turn friends into enemies just as easily as the wind changes.

How ridiculous. But its the fact. All of are us possess many different masks.
We will don different masks during different times. All just to gain favor.

I am so sick of this twisted politics.

Is it ok to trust the person who I think is trustworthy?

Perhaps Stonecold is right: DTA.

Recently I am getting more and more interested in how to identify authentic luxury goods.

After spending that huge amount of money on LVs and Buberries... I don't want to see any other Tom, Dick and Harry carrying a fake one and posing it off as the real thing.

Exclusivity MUST costs!

So I went to do some googling and yahooing here and there and found some relevant information.

All LV pieces after 2007 will have a new form of date code. The date code on my Damier Pocket Organizer which I bought in February this year was made (not manufactured, cause all LVs are handmade by the masons) in the 50th week of 2007. Which translates to sometime in mid-December last year.

-MI5007-

Do you have any friends who spent more than $1000 on wallets alone over a period of only 4 months?

If you think you don't have any... Think again.

Some pretty extreme post by this fellow who i presume is a fucking Cina babi. How pathetic can that nation of pigs become?

You know something? Please don't ever let me be in absoulute power because if I am, those son of a bitches are so going to die. I will exterminate every single one of them. They are all bloody useless entities and yet there are so many of them. Ha. How pathetic. Bloody polluters of Earth they don't deserve a place here.

It infuriates me more when I see that those exact same pathetic lowlives are robbing our local students of the top grades! Just look at the results announcement yesterday; most of the scorers are from that pig country. Goodness gracious. How unworthy. They come here, leech our education system, horde all the scholarship money and then in the end, bring everything back to that fucking country.

Good for nothings they all are. They are so wretched I cant stand looking at them.

Please just let me be in power. I will dedicate my authority and power to the annihilation of those pigs.

I want to be the next Fuhrer.

What if it is all a ploy? A very sinister plan by the government?

Mr. Selamat has successfully escaped from a local high-level security detention centre and the hunt for him is still ongoing. It is still oblivious to most of us whether is he still inside the country or whether is he armed. Does he have any plans to strike us again?

Frankly speaking, I find it quite hard to believe that he can escape the detention cell. I mean after all, that place is akin to a CIA Secret Facility which should have top notch security, atrocious looking guards and CCTV along every ten feet of the compound. If he is able to escape from that sort of place, then I wonder what will happen to all the detainees in our local police precint from now all? Will there be a mass breakout?

To put it simply, it is quite unlikely that he escaped.

Which is why I said it is a very sinister ploy.

The truth is Mr. Selamat is still inside the detention cell. The news that he escaped was delibrately released to achieve a "national" agenda. A certain news company might be making a loss now because its sales have been dropping. Therefore, in order to revive that news company, the leaders have decided to come up with this big scoop! This way, more news will be generated and the news company will have more to print and more people will buy the newspapers and read about it! This will naturally translate into more money for the country's top brass?

See my point? Its a very dark world...

Maybe as a side agenda, our vigilance is also put to the test. They want to see how we can cope with national threats like this.

hahahahahaha...

Mr. Warren Buffett has overtaken Mr. Bill Gates as the world's richest man.
Warren's net asset is calculated to be 62 billion dollars, up from 52 billion dollars last year. The amazing thing about him is he can still become the world's richest man despite giving majority of his forturn to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.

Mr. Bill Gates has dropped to the third place after having been the richest man for 13 years. Mexico's telecom mogul Carlos Slim Helu grabbed second place with a tidy nest egg of 60 billion dollars, up from 49 billion last year.

Ok. Back to Warren Buffett. The world's richest man.
62 billion dollars...

Lets assume that he can live till 90 years old. He is now 77 years old. He will have to spend approximately 6.3 million dollars EVERYDAY in order to splurge all his assets away. oMg~

I would be so freaking happy if I can spend $6300 EVERYDAY. 6.3 million dollars...

So please. Mr. Warren Buffett. If you chance by my blog and read this post, kindly transfer $500,000 Singapore dollars into my account. That is all I need to start my investment plan. Once I make it big, I will return you the money. Treat it as doing a good deed!

Anyway, Singapore has a reserve of like wat? 693 billion dollars?

Ha...

Hmmm. Technology is indeed an interesting thing.

In the past, during the gameboy era, I used to fret day and night over not being able to complete my Pokedex. The main problem is I am not able to find the right people with the right Pokemon to trade with. Even if I do find one, I would have to arrange to meet up with him because during that time, trading can only take place through the gameboy cables. Most of the time, we are not willing to travel to each other's place just to trade a Pokemon. And travelling to a pre-planned place just to trade Pokemon is pretty "dumb" as well.

So most of the time, I would only be able to carry out Pokemon trading during family gathering events whereby I can trade with all my cousin. Such family gathering is often rare. That translates into incomplete Pokedex.

But now, things are different. With wi-fi compatibility, the Nintendo DS Lite enables me to not only trade Pokemon effortlessly with my friends but also with people around the ENTIRE WORLD! Yes. Its that amazing.

Just this afternoon, I traded a Pichu for a Charmander. The latter is a very rare in the previous games and there is only one in each game. But now, with "Breeding", you can breed many Charmanders! Anyway, the Charmander which I traded... is from California! That means its a CALIFORNIAN Charmander!

How cool is that haha.

If you seen the above person, please call the police immediately. Alternatively, you can also give me a call.

This is Maggie Q.

My chinese new year is just like that lor. Nothing much lah. seems like its getting duller and duller every year. I dunno why. maybe we all cant really be bothered to talk to each other anymore? ahahaha. oh well. what can i say? people change over time. the person who is very close to you in the past might no longer be close to you anymore.

HUAT AH! CHECK OUT MY BRAND NEW HD READT TV MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

ITS NOT AKIRA. ITS NOT PALLADINE BUT ITS SAMSUNG!

SAMSUNG OK DUN PLAY PLAY.

NIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI.

all thats left now is a P S 3!

hur hur. went to watch kung fu dunk on the wee hours of friday morning. then went to watch CJ7 on the wee hours of saturday morning.

both shows not very to my liking. dun really like them. especially kung fu dunk. CJ7 isnt nowhere better.

both films quite crappy bah. not really worth your time to watch if u got better things to do. hahaha. ok.

How sweet. I just woke up at 3pm + and then logged onto MSN and then saw this message which says someone has added me on MSN.

I go check my contacts and saw him online so I asked him who he is. Then I realised his my Maris Stella classmate! A long lost friend haha.

After more interlouction I discovered that its by pure chance that he added me.

Interesting things like this does happen once in awhile.

Then talked abit the past times. So nostalgic.

A good way to start my day haha.

The day will come whereby I will enter the Kremlin and take the Oath of Office:


"I vow, in the performance of my powers as the President of the Russian Federation to respect and protect the rights and freedoms of man and citizen, to observe and protect the Constitution of the Russian Federation, to protect the sovereignty and independence, security and integrity of the state and to serve the people faithfully."


I will unite the world's largest nation and re-establish my country as a superpower in the global arena.


Before that happens, I would like to wish a Happy Chinese New Year to all those that are bored enough on CNY to come see my blog.

Hah. From dragonboater to a patient in Tan Talk and Sing Hospital. What a drastic polar shift eh?

Anyways, when I woke up yesterday morning, I was feeling a bit heh-bei heh-bei already. I felt feverish. In other words, I am ill! Not eel but ILL! It was 7am then. My training begins at 10am.
So I thought I would go consult FREE medical services at Tan Talk and Sing Hospital to see if my condition is serious or not.

I wash my faced, brushed my teeth and took a cab down to TTSH. I was just feeling too lethargic and lousy to take a bus at that time. But I was momentarily returned to life when I arrived at the hospital entrance. Not because the hospital has a healing sphere around it that can cast cure on sick people in close proximity.

BUT BECAUSE THE FREAKING CAB FARE IS $6.00! WHAT THE HECK!

If you guys been to my place before, you would know how close TTSH is to my house. A bus ride would cost around $0.65. And if I want to take it to the extreme, I can even WALK there for FREE. Its almost a 600 PERCENT inflation when I take a cab! What is Singapore coming to? Goodness gracious me. And they still dare to say cabbies are having a hard time!? BULLMANURE!

As the saying goes "If you are a poor man, you either die or live. Because if you were to fall sick, it would be very expensive."

OK. So after that I went to registered with the counter and proceeded into the waiting room to wait. It was 7.30am.

*tick-tock*

8am

*tick-tock*

8.30am

*tick-tock*

9am

*tick-tock*

9.30am

PS: I am reminded of Gwen Stefani. "What you waiting for?"

ARGH! Hello! I am a dying patient here. OK maybe not a dying patient but still a patient patient and my patience is running thin! 2 hours passed and its not my turn yet! But there is like what - about 8 patients in the entire waiting room? What is this man. So much for being a "service with a smile" country!

"No free lunch in the world." Yeah, I second that. I get to seek free medical services but I have to pay with my time!

By then I already felt better (Maybe TTSH do have a healing sphere after all) and I am pissed with waiting. So I decided to go for my training at Kallang River.

PS: The water is freaking salty! But its too small to be called a sea. So thats why Kallang River? Why not Seaver or something.

So off to rowing I went and row I did. Yeah, feels shiok to feel the river breeze and to row again. Blah blah blah. We docked at 12pm for lunch. By then I started to feel heh-bei heh-bei again...

OK. Something's definitely wrong with me. I seek permission from my trainer to report sick and off I went to happy little hospital where the staff all have the surname Tan and they love to Talk and Sing.

I was half expecting them to ask me why did I left in the morning and why did I come back now. But none of this happened. That means they don't really keep a record of people coming in and going out? So guys, next time if you have nothing better to do, then go disturb TTSH. Just register and go then come back again and do is as many times you want LOL.

This time, I waited for 1 hour. Not bad. Got improvement.

"Yong Cheng Jin" "Yong Cheng Jin"

I went into the doctor's room and - Not bad. At least got someone nice to look at in the hospital.

Nice doctor: "Whats wrong with you?"

Me: "Fever."

Nice doctor: "Sore throat?"

Me: "Nope. just fever. No sore throat, no cough, no aches. Just plain fever and abit of runny nose."

Nice doctor: "Runny nose?"

Me: "Yeah. It sort of just infected me while I was waiting just now."

Nice doctor: "..."

Ok nevermind, the whole dialogues is gonna take pages!

So anyway, the doctor took a sethoscope and touched my back. He told me there is something wrong with my heartbeat. I was like "huh? is everything ok?"
He assured me that there is nothing wrong with me. But I need to be X-rayed to be sure. How ironic..

So he put me on a bed and agot a nurse to roll me into the X-ray room. While I was being rolled, I can see the lights and fans on the ceiling whirling past me. Interesting. I saw these scenes on TV before but now that I experienced it.. its no big deal.

So, I was X-rayed and after that, I was pushed to one corner in a room to rest while the X-ray is veing evaluated. I was put on drip and for the first time, I had a needle up my vein in my left arm!

The doctor pushed it carefully and swiftly into my vein and I witnessed the whole procedure.

Not that its very painful but it just feels funny. Its akin to someone stuffing a cucumber up your anal cavity. Yeah. Something like that. And I din't know I was dehydrated. Hmm.

The 2hours wait in that resting corner would have been boring if not for this pretty nurse! Her name is Celine and she's a trainee nurse from NYP. How do I know? I read her nametag. Surprisingly, I can still notice such minor details in my feverish state. But shes really cute. Ahhhhhh. She even took my temperature for me. How sweet. and my blood pressure. and my pulse rate as well. I bet she must be the reason my hearts acting weird.

haha ok kidding. moving on...

In the room that I was in, there were several other patients. Around 4 to 5. And all of them are senior citizens. and for some reason, they kept staring at me. I bet you are thinking what I am thinking eh. A young man... inside this resting room full of senior citizens?

Am I dying! NO. dun be dumb. WHY SHOULD THE WORLD EXIST WITHOUT ME! THAT WOULDNT BE FAIR! Someone's feeling abit godlike here.

So, after that two hours, the nice doctor came again and he told me that I can go home now because my lungs appear to be OK from the x-rays. However, the x-ray will be forwarded to a radiologist for closer scrutiny. If there is anything wrong, I will be called back again. He also added that I have an infection but he do not know where that infection is because I only have one sympton; fever. So he presribed some antibiotics and paracetomol for me and off I go out of the hospital.

Bye bye Celine.

It was around 5pm.

I was very hungry after that cause I only ate a piece of bread from morning till now. So I went to eat Pizza Hut. But hey, there is no sore throat and the doctor did mentioned "Don't worry about the food. Eat what you want." And just nice, I have a craving for some pizza so yeah.

Yay! I will be going for Dragonboat training!

I signed up for my inter-division dragonboat competition and the training starts tomorrow. So shiok! I get to re-live the moment as a dragonboater once more!

The sun, the Kallang river and the... disemboweled body parts?

Ahahahaha. Hope can catch some hunky dragonboaters tomorrow! [Winks at Ted]

EVEN BETTER! Hunky female boaters!

How often do you get to see something iconic cruising through the streets at 100 kph? Not very often in real life but very often to apocalyptic and end-of-the-world movies. The day after tomorrow and Independence Day just to name a few.

The newest addition to that list would be the upcoming film "Cloverfield". The film itself is shrouded in mystery because the trailer only shows a bunch of people partying at a friend's house and then suddenly, an explosion occurs on the other end of the city. The next thing they know, the head of the Statue of Liberty came flying through the street. As you all have already guessed, all hell breaks loose next.

But we don't know exactly what that 'hell' is.

The directors show us just enough to fuel our sense of curiosity. But not enough to let us know the gist of the film. I should have known earlier that it is a scam by the directors to lure unknowing victims like me to a rather sucky movie...

All I can say about Cloverfield is it is not really a show worth watching. However, if you like to hear the narrator constantly nags and exclaims at the tiniest bit of things, shaky scenes, utter chaos, illogical happenings and a total lack of plot, then Cloverfield is the show for you. If not, it would be better for you to listen to my summary.

Rob was reveling himself in his party when an explosion occurs on the other end of the city. and Rob looks out of the window just in time to see a building collapse. The entire film after that, and before this actually, was shot on a video cam carried by his best friend Hudd. I have to give the directors credit for this because the film really look like it was shot on video cam; the shaky scenes and the occasional glimpses of Hudd's groin when he drops his hand.

To sum it up, Manhattan is under siege by an unknown monster that eats any human it sees. Rob's girlfriend, Beth, was trap in her house when the wall fell on her (how she survived that I wonder) because of tremors caused by the monster's stomping. So, as the heroic boyfriend, Rob ran towards the city centre to save Beth even though we all know that the monster is lurking around the, you guess it, city centre.

The military was called in. The military fought. Rob saved his girl. Friends of Rob killed by the monster. The military lost. The government decides to abandon and annihillate the city along with the monster. Rob and his girl got left behind. Rob and his girl died after they told each other "I love you."

End of movie. No explanations on the origins of the monster. No ending. Nothing. A total disappointment and an anti-climatical show, not that there is much climax to talk about.

To quote Sher, the film is like the 2nd episode of a trilogy. No beginning and no ending. We were guessing that there might a Cloverfield 2 and 3. But who knows how good the film will be?

In the end, its better to spend your $9.50 on better films. Le Grand Chef is a very nice show.

Some, or rather most, think that my NS life is very slack because I am
an OC. Thats what I thought in the first place too.

All I need to do is to just oversee my underlings and make sure they do their jobs. Occasionally, I just need to sign one or more leave forms, authorise them to draw arms and scold them for their wrongdoings. I would just have to sit in the office all day long and make sure all the paper work and administration stuff are done. No outfield, no patrolling and no physical training for me.

Piece of cake eh? Think again.

The days whereby "I am your god-damn OC and whatever I see you follow" is over. People knows how to argue back now and they know their constitutional rights. Subordinates no longer simply take in whatever their superiors tell them. They know how to refute and argue back.

But thats not so bad because after all, I still have my rank to subdue them. Even so, using my rank to subdue them only reflects on my incapabilities to handle them personally; I can't, in the capacity as their OC, subdue them. In other words, if I do not have my rank, I would become a lame duck. What's the point then?

The Chinese says 好事成双(good things come in pairs) but I say bad things come in pairs too.

I may be a senior officer on paper but in reality, nobody gives a hoot about me. Back at training side, the instructors were stressing how significant a role we play as senior officers and that we are a very important asset to the organisation.

Bullocks. Utter bullocks.

The trend now is that NS guys are merely just NS guys. Why care so much about them?
NS guys are expandable assets. My career as a regular officer is more important. If there is any shit, I will just throw them to the NS guys. They after all will be leaving after 2 years; a tainted record will not be as devastating to them as it will be to a regular officer.

What a twisted mentality people have nowadays.

They have to wake up their bloody idea and understand that NS guys are there to supplement the regular force. Without us the bloody organisation will just crumble.

Article 10, clause 2 of the Constitution of the Republic of Singapore states that "All forms of forced labour are prohibited, but Parliament may by law provide for compulsory service for national purposes."

National purpose. Yeah, to become stepping stones for others to fulfill their ambitons in the organisation is a glorious thing indeed.

But never mind. I am still surviving. What doesn't kills me makes me stronger. At least now I know about office politics and dirty tricks that people pull on one another.

Vexille... its a nice show. Must watch!

I have been wanting to blog for the past few days but I can't seem to find an appropriate topic to blog on. Then this morning, I was browsing through the net and came across this forum which gave me ample inspiration to create a new entry! Isn't is miraculous?

Is it pure coincidence or is there something larger at work here... Anyway, lets move on.

This forum which I was reading is on " How to detect fake branded (think LV/PRADA/CHANEL etc) products. There were several interesting opinions from different people in the forum but its the final post that really caught my attention.

It is testament to the fer-ark upp country that it is. Which country I am talking about, you guys should roughly know. It is well-known for its never-ending list of imitations (they are even going to copy the city of Paris! Do a google search and you'll know), lead-filled food, pollution and many other problems.

What a disgrace... If I am the leader of the sole superpower today, I would ally myself with Eurasia to vanquish that good-for-nothing-cock-sucking-mule-ferarking nation.

Sheez. I can be quite extreme at times. Please dun mind me.

The forum is http://talk.hairboutique.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=31066&PN=2

Gentlemen and ladies, boys and girls, I will gear myself to get a PS3 in the near future. I manage to find a HD ready TV that costs $588 only! And the good thing is, I won't be paying for the HD ready TV. I will just tell my parents "Hey mom! Our LIVING ROOM TV is too old. Why don't YOU get this super cheap HD TV from Akira?"

Nihihihi. Little did she know that I have other intentions...

First things first: Merry Christmas to all you people.

Ok.

I am so grateful for this particular body part. Most of us seem to just take it for granted and only reveal it when they need to. Other than that, we will just keep this body part tuck away in our clothings, never showing it to others. Why? Because we deem it to be a shameful act.

By now I assume most of you would roughly know what I am talking about.
Yes, its our cheeks.

I used to take my cheeks for granted too until I took up loller brading last week.
It help to reduce the impact of my fall and thanks to it, I got to feel the existence of my butt
for the first time since many years. And I am talking about my butt cheeks. Not our face cheeks.
(How we can use our face cheeks to break our fall I have no idea)

These pair of natural cushions given to us is such a miraculous thing.

HAH.

I bought a pair of loller brades today!

Went to practice just now and found out that its harder than it looks.
After a few good slams to the tarmac and many yoga-like positions to save my ass from the floor, I barely learned to skate in a stable manner.

Looks like I've got lots of practicing to do.

I have been spending alot recently.. Hmm

Ha.

I am down with Pharyngitis and is on two days medical leave.
I will only be reporting back to work on Thursday.
Hmm. But I am feeling better already. Perhaps I should resume work tomorrow?

I wonder..

My name is Cheng Jin. I come from an average family in Singapore.
I live a decent live and is generally self-sufficient; I am neither poor nor rich,
just somewhere in the middle.

This is my phone. I spent $568 on it when it was first released back in July 2007. I spent a few weeks lamenting on amount which I paid for this phone because it sapped away close to 70% of my minute salary for that month. But ultimately, I am happy with my phone because it satifies my needs for media entertainment on the go.

This is the Nokia 8800, a phone which costs around $1000. Despite its price, it offers less functions than my Nokia 5700. The main reason behind its steep price tag is its design which I won't deny, it looks sleek and cool. Made from titanium metal with a scratch-proof screen, it even comes with its own unique set of ringtone which no other Nokia phone has. It is dubbed the "poor man's Vertu" but paying so much for something that looks good is not something I will do. Its just so un-me.

This is the Nokia Sirocco 8800 Gold edition. Despite its revised name, the phone is identical to the Nokia 8800. The main differences between the two is that the Gold edition, as its name suggests, is gold plated and it costs around $1600, $600 more than its titanium counterpart. I haven't seen anyone using it yet. It is definitely not something I would buy. I mean, come on, the gold makes it look more like an ah-pek's phone than a unique, one of a kind phone.

Nokia 8800 Arte

Arte Sapphire

As if trying to attract all those uber-rich consumers which doesn't asks for the price when shopping, Nokia is releasing another two high end phones; the Nokia 8800 Arte and the Nokia 8800 Arte Sapphire. In essence, these two phones are identical to the Nokia 8800 and Nokia 8800 Gold edition. Flamboyant phones that has nothing but looks. The Nokia 8800 Arte Sapphire even has a blue gem embedded into its keypad. How cool is that?

Sometimes, the difference between poor and rich can be colossal. The poor men's Vertu costs $1000. The rich men's ones have prices starting from $10000. With prices like that, you might think that these Vertu phones are super-phones. Then you are sorely mistaken. Other than having more leather, gems, satins, velvet and "ergonomics engineering", these obscenely expensive phones still has nothing much to fight my Nokia 5700 in terms of functionality. The things that a Vertu owener can boast about is its exhorbitant cost and how rich the owner is. Thats all.

Just when you think luxury has a limit in the mobile phone arena, you are in for a surprise. Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the Goldvish Illusion! The ultimate luxury mobile phone made of 18k gold, set with top quality diamonds and incorporating advanced quad band technology. The fusion of exclusive Swiss watch-making and high technology. The back of the phone is covered in sting ray or crocodile skin giving it a unique texture. The specs of the phone are far better than the Vertu due to the fact that it is relatively new. Wow! Better specs! But still pales in comparison to MY phone!

When you are finally certain that things couldn't get any snobbier, flashier, bling-ier and gem-mier, you are SO TUAPEKGONG-DAMN WRONG! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Behold! The limited edition (with only 3 in the whole wide world) 'Le Million' Piece Unique. Nope, Batman is not going bling-bling, this is not his new Bat Boomarang. Trust me, its a TUAPEKGONG-DAMN mobile phone!

GoldVish, an uber-luxury communication company out of Geneva Switzerland manufactured what may be the most expensive cell phone in the world; costing more than $2,000,000. That’s enough to feed a relatively small country (think Singapore? maybe not) for a few weeks. The one of kind GoldVish phone is plastered with 120 carats of VVS-1 grade diamonds, while the casing is made of white gold. Despite its breathtaking price - IT STILL CANT COMPETE WITH MY NOKIA 5700 IN TERMS OF FUNCTIONALITY! GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME, FOR A PHONE THAT COSTS THIS MUCH, I WOULD EXPECT IT TO DO SOMETHING EXTRAORDINARY. LIKE SHOOT A ROCKET OR SOMETHING.

But pushing on one of the precious stones unlocks a secret compartment that can be used for carrying medicine or jewels.


Oh, and if you ever want to buy this beauty, you’ll need a Swiss bank account with over $2,000,000. GoldVish doesn’t take Visa or Matercards.

Concluding statement: I may not be rich but I am pragmatic. I won't spend my money on some products that can't even spell goldfish correctly.

BUSH WARNS MYANMAR OF WORLD SANCTIONS... IF IT CONTINUES TO IGNORE CALLS FOR A DEMOCRATIC TRANSITION

Agence France-Presse - 12/12/2007 1:57 AM

"The United States will spearhead a global campaign to step up sanctions against Myanmar's military regime if it continues to ignore calls for a democratic transition, President George W. Bush warned Tuesday.

The threat came after the US House of Representatives Tuesday adopted sanctions against Myanmar's multi-million dollar gemstone exports and natural gas industry, in response to the military junta's lethal crackdown on September pro-democracy protests.

At least 31 people were killed and 74 missing in the suppression of protests that were led by Buddhist monks, according to a UN report.

Bush repeated his call for the regime to release all political prisoners, including Nobel Peace Prize laureate Aung San Suu Kyi, who is under house arrest."

Goodness gracious me. It seems to me that Bush is not yet satisfied with his ailing Afghanistan-Iraq endeavor. Now, he has decided to shift America's hegemonic weight to South-East Asia, namely Myanmar for some unknown reasons. Perhaps he wants to seek some vindication for his failur... I mean misadventure in the Middle East. Or he simply wants to spread (impose) Democracy around the world. Maybe he just wants to show whose the Boss.

Dear Mr. Bush, please wake up your idea.

As a president, you should know better than to start creating another problem when you still got your hands full on existing ones, namely Iraq and Afghanistan. On the surface, America seems to have full control over Iraq. But in reality, America only controls Baghdad, the Iraqi capital. Outside the those capital walls, lawlessness rules. Tribal chiefs decapitate people like pigs and the terrorists group launches surprise attacks every now and then on the US Army. 5 years into the Iraq War and the death toll has never dropped. More and more soldiers "die for their country" with each passing day.

Now, the most powerful administration in the world is in a deadlock. Bush can choose to stay in Iraq, but doing so will only mean more soldiers are going to get killed. Seeing the situation, its going to take the US Army a long long time to eradicate all threats in Iraq. Think about the number of soldiers that are going to die and the amount of money that is going to be wasted. Eventually, Americans at home are going to complain about the situation in Iraq. Alternatively, the President can choose to pull out of Iraq, but doing so will create a power vacuum and will eventually lead to a civil war between all the factions in Iraq. America will be criticized internationally as a "a country that invaded for no reason and left shit for the Iraqis".

I appreaciate the American president for his firm belief in democracy but he has to right to impose his belief in other countries. Whether other nations want to endorse democracy or not is up to them to decide. How a government wants to rules its country is its internal affairs. Therefore, Bush has no reason to demand other country to turn democratic. At best, he can only suggest. He is in no position vto say democracy is good and communism is evil. Such ideas are subjective. One man's fish might be another man's anthrax. One interesting fact; so far, the countries Bush invaded, for being totalitarian, are weak, third world countries. Russia is also another country with conflicting political system with America. The same goes for China. So why don't I see Bush trying to preach to Vladimir Putin and Hu Jingtao?

Please Mr. Bush, take care of your own family matters first before trying to kay-poh into other people's affairs. For all you know, you might be the infamous president that brings America's reputation to a record low in the course of the nation's history.

All right! I just finished watching V for Vendetta. The last time I watched it (with Alfonsus) I failed to comprehend its essence because there were no subtitles and I can't catch what the actors were saying fast enough (those englishman spoke very quickly).

But tonight, I watched it with earphones on and I already read abit of the movie script in advance. Plus, my SAT revision seemed to have boosted my English. Therefore I was able to make sense of the whole movie and my, it was absolufantastic.

Individuality, freedom, intellectual. Its a movie that emphasizes our natural right to live, speak, think and create.

Men were born free but now they are everywhere in chains. How did it happened? If you guys are looking for the one responsible, you only have to look into a mirror. Yes, you landed yourself in your plight. Why should we obey all the rules and regulations? Why allow society to label us as genius, educated or dumb? Why subject ourselves to the rule of others when we were given the right to live our own life? What gives your government the power to rule over us?

Oh yes.

You allowed the government to govern you. You wanted peace, prosperity and security. And peace, prosperity and security our government gave to us. We have almost everything we need; good life, good economy and a peaceful home. All these the government has provided us and all it demands in return is our silent obedient conformity.

Be deluded no more! If you feel what I feel then meet me at the Parliament on the 5th of November 2008. We shall create an anarchy where all men lives free! Mwahahahahaha.

OK. Maybe I was abit too radical but thats about the gist of the story. I sure hope I won't be arrested for dissemination of seditious message. Then again, I didn't specify which government so they can't do anything about it. Mwahahahahahahahaha!

Freedom of expression!


Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished.

However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.

The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

http://9mmsfx.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=9SE&Product_Code=I61&Category_Code=CS0

I want the Sharingan contact lens! But its costs USD200 for a pair and that is excluding the shipping costs. Sure it looks cool but its for theatrical use only. I can't wear it for a pronlonged period of time. Plus people might take me for a fool if I wear it out. (unless I am at some cos-play show but I dun look like Sasuke, Itachi or Kakashi >.<)

I am chionging through Naruto season 1 now and am currently at episode 162. Going to re-watch V for Veranda soon haha.

Oh I am so bloated with food now.

Learning the Fire Element: Blazing Fireball Jutsu hand seals now.

Snake Tiger Monkey Boar Horse Tiger!

BUSH = Beat Up Saddam Huessein

SADDAM = Stop America's Devious Deeds Against Muslims

CLINTON = Can Lick It Numb Till One's Negation

HILARY = HILARious storY

CONDOLEEZZA = CONDOm Leaks Extra Enamel oZZe Away

BLAIR = Britons Laid Amorously In Russia

Today was a fruitful day for me. I went around checking out my men on the ground and mingled around with them. I gained much insights from this interaction with them.

Although my posting now is similar to a 2nd Lieutenant or 3rd Sergeant leading a platoon and a section respectively, there is still a very big difference between me and the 2LT/3SG. For instance, things at my place doesn't work the "I give orders you obey" way. Also, in the army, the things you do everyday differs in the sense that there is no universal roster/time-table. For me, my men have to go through the same routine over and over again during their every working day.

Therefore, men management is rather tricky on my side. Some of them even expressed their suspicions about me. But never mind. I will rise up to this challenge. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger!

I am watching TAB TV now ahahaha! Its such a, erm, bitchy show lol. And I am attracted by it!
I am such a bitch lol.

Tonights edition is about stalkers. More specifically, obessessed fans turned stalkers.

Felicia Chin shared her story on the show. Zoe Tay and Vincent Ng also.

One funny thing about Vincent's experience: a MALE fan kissed him on the neck and ran away lol!!!!

For Zoe, one PRC China Babi called from China and proposed to her~~~ Like what the hell haha.

Interesting show lah.

My HOT wants to see me today.

I hope its nothing bad.

Ahhh so kawaii-neh!

This is a photo of my cousin's daughter! Cute right! I went to my cousin's house to print some stuff when I saw she had her daughter's photo set as the wallpaper. Its so cute! I can't resist the cuteness of this photo. So I asked her to give me a copy of it ahaha!

KAWAII NEH!

Mom's away on a holiday again but without Dad this time. She departed Singapore for China yesterday morning at 6++am. Of all places she have to choose China. Oh well, its her choice.

I was researching on the market price of PSP and I chance upon this interesting auction put up on Yahoo.

80" Video Glasses Light Weight Version

Watch the latest videos using your iPod Video, Zune or any Portable Media Player on a 80" Screen from 1M away on a device that weighs only 59g.

You can also use it to:
Play console games on your Xbox, PlayStation or Wii without hogging the family's TV.
Connect it to any DVD player or VCR and watch movies in your own private big screen virtual theatre.

Amazing isn't it? Imagine you watching sex education related films.

ALL RIGHT! I have been waiting for a long time to say this:

I SAT for my SAT on a SAT! (I sat for my SAT paper on a Saturday!!!)

MWahahhahaha. Ok. Ahem.

Anyway, bloody hell, the SAT today was like 5 hours long! I sat in the room from 7.45am to 12.40pm~~~ I think gazillions upon gazillion of my brain cells got disintegrated during that 5 hours. Initially it was still fine. I can still focus. But as time pass by (and the bloody Engrish question is as hard as hell), I began to lose sight of the finishing line. It doesnt help that there is a pretty cute girl sitting in front of me. 4 hours into the test I was no longer exercising my cognitive abilities. All I can think of is "Oh my gosh, please just end this now" and I simply just glance thru the questions and "A". Next, "B". Next "C". I think I like "A" more, ok so this shall be "A". To make things worst, my stomach kept growling and growling! I then realised I didnt ate dinner last night and I dint take breakfast this morning...

When it was time to start on Section 7 of the test, I got a shock. A minor one. But major enough to rupture more brain cells. I turned over my answer sheet to the second page where the OAS (remember, the 4D like thing where you shade the circle for your answer) for Section 7 is and then I saw that there is an OAS for Section TEN! 10?! All the SAT practice papers I did only had 9 sections. Perplexed, I asked one of the invigilators and they told "Orh, coz today is Saturday, so got one extra section."

...........................

*I solemnly and sincerely swear upon my dignity as a human being that I am not lying about the reason I was given.*

After he told me I was like "What the French Fires? Is that guy joking?" He is not joking.
So I told Mr. Commando about this perculiar discovery and he reasoned with me: Because its SAT-urday, you get one bonus section. If you take the test on SAT-urn on a SAT-urday, you will get 2 bonus sections. If you happen to believe in SAT-an and you take the test on SAT-urn on a SAT-urday, then you will get 3 bonus sections. Anyone else care to join in?

Anyway, I am really pondering about why is there an extra section all of a sudden.

Ugh. But I made it through. Now all I can hope is for the markers overlook all my mistakes and just give me ticks all the way. This way, they will be able to finish marking early and can celebrate Christmas too. See, a win-win situation.

With SAT out of the way, I am more free now. Hmmm. What should I do?

Its 5+ am in the morning and I am here sitting in front of the computer sipping my 2-in-1 instant coffee. I didnt exactly have a good sleep last night. My parents came back at an unknown time but I guess it would be pretty late. Probably around 1+ am. I slept at 12am and woke up at 5am.

Fortunately, I am SAF trained; I can substain myself with very little or no sleep at all. Even if without the SAF training, I still can "dong" for another day I guess. I am after all, well known for my hyperactiveness.

Knocked off work at around 9.30pm today. I went around and did scarlet teaming exercises with my DSO. We hit several establishments but fortunately, most of them made the mark.
I used two different type of stories to perform the exercises. Basically, I am suppose to create some distraction and then leave my belongings in the establishments and the people there must be vigilant enough to notice it and remind me to take my things with me.

Story #1: I have been receiving several scam calls from China. I am appalled by the frequency with which they call me and how they obtained my number in the first place. In fact, I received another one of these calls earlier and that prompted me to bring this matter to the police's attention.

-Then depending on the response I get, I will play along-

Story #2: Good evening officer. I am here to make an enquiry. I am not sure how I should put it but... Alright, I will be grank with you. Are gay marriages allowed in Singapore? If not, is there any thing I can do to get my marriage with my boyfriend recognized my Mr Lee's administration? Is there really no leeway at all?

- Depending on the hostility of the response, I will also play along! -

On the whole, the results were good!

Work late. Can demand for food money and longer vacation hehe.

Tomorrow is my SAT. I will have to be at STARHUB CENTRE by 7.45am.
Wish me luck!

They held each other tight as they drove on through the night they were so exited.
We got just one shot of life, let's take it while we're still not afraid.
Because life is so brief and time is a thief when you're undecided.
And like a fistful of sand, it can slip right through your hands.

Young hearts be free tonight.
Time is on your side,
Don't let them put you down, don't let 'em push you around,
Don't let 'em ever change your point of view.



I love this song. It tells a story of two delinquent lovers who faced tyrannical oppression from their family in their premature relationship. They eventually decided to elope and seek their happiness out there.

Its so sweet and I think the lyrics make some sense too. Why wait and leave fate to someone else when you can decide fate yourself? Ladies and gentlemen, Christmas is coming soon and love is in the air. Do not hesistate to express your love for your crush. Be bold enough to tell him/her I have a very profound affection for you.

Do not spend Christmas alone anymore!


HECK! I am gonna be late for work!

I ate Maggi Mee for dinner again. Remind me never to trust my 2nd bro again. He called me when I was still at work and offered to take away a packet of fried rice for me. When I reached home, the fried rice was nowhere to be found. He dint buy it at all. And he dint even bother to call and tell me that his not buying dinner for me. If he did then I could have eaten outside. What an irresponsible guy.

Lessons Learnt While Cooking Maggi Mee Today:

1. Never brew your Maggi Mee like how sinsehs brew their chinese medical concoctions. Not only will your egg become hard-boiled but your noodles will expand alot also.

2. Don't try to cook your egg whole with the Mee. When you break the egg into the mee already, stir the noodle and the egg so that the egg will get "smashed" and distributed evenly throught the pot. This makes the egg ripe faster. Leaving your egg in its untouched condition (yolk and egg white intact) is suicidal; the water in the pot will dry up and the pot will explode before the egg even ripens.

3. Don't go and check for what shoes to buy on eBay after adding a large amount of water into the pot to prevent it from drying up. The water will most likely boil, expand and then overflow onto the stove because you are too engrossed with the wide selection of shoe.

Shit sia. People say I look like old man. And a nerd.

I had a sweet, wonderful sleep last night. I even woke up feeling energetic; a deviation from the usual fatigue that I will feel when I wake up on other days. My parent's bed is just too comfortable ler. Its KING KOIL brand and its freaking QUEEN SIZE. So spacious, I can sleep diagonally and I can leave my Pikachu at the side without causing any obstruction (this morning the Pikachu was on the floor. I think I must have knocked it down. Poor Pika)!

OK enough about my bed. I don't want to sound like some country bumpkin that has only slept on mattresses for his entire life. (Coincidentally, I spent most of my past 18 years of existence sleeping on mattresses....)

Lets see. My 2nd brother's wife (is that my brother-in-law?) cant cook for walnuts sake. She pour the oil machiam the oil price now is $0.01 per barrerl! When I came home, the entire kitchen floor was oily sia! Disgusting. And I see the food I got turned off; the vegetables and meat are actually shiny! You can see light reflecting on it sia. Power lor. Luckily I ate before coming home. No way in Singapore am I going to stomach HER food. One mouth of it and you can pee enough oil to cook another meal. Sheez. Talk about China Babi. Ooops.

Regarding my that matrix phone. I doubt I am gonna buy it. It would cost me around $70 which I reckon is too boh hua already. Never mind about it being the chosen phone. I cant afford to burn my pocket and jeopardize my hobby of playing pocket billards. now what the heck I am talking about... nvm, you guys know what I am talking about. or do you?

"Because I am leaving on a jet plane,
Don't know when I'll be back again..."

Mom and Dad just left Singapore for Hong Kong at around 6+ am just now. They deserved this long overdue vaccation, especially Dad; it is his first time in his life riding an aeroplane.

They won't be back until this Friday. Meanwhile, I will have the whole house to myself. EEE-haw! Ok. Not exactly totally to myself since my 2nd bro is around as well. But nevermind, at least nobody will be there to nag at me for 5 days.

How long has it been? 1 year perhaps.

The anxiety which I felt knowing that I have made many mistakes after marking my test script.
The helplessness which fills me when I realized I only have 1 more week to study.
The affliction which crept into me for procrastinating my revision until this last week.

... BIG DEAL!

I made it through my A levels, O levels, PSLE, Streaming Exam! I am not gonna let this SAT bring me down. Never. Final victory belongs to me! Or so it seems. The english part of SAT is really close to insurmountable. All the funny and chim words everywhere. I also hate writing essays, especially those whereby you do not have the choice of questions.

Never mind never mind. According to the Secret, I can sail smoothly through SAT if I want to. Hehe.

I studied about the term "monopoly" during Social Studies (Chapter 6: The rise and fall of Venice) when I was in Secondary 4 back in Maris Stella High. Basically it means having control total control over a particular resource (for Venice, it was salt and fishes) so that you can set the price for that resource. Even if you were to set exhorbitant prices, other people or countries will still buy from you because you are the only one that has it and the people need it.

I haven't really experience "monopoly" (unless you're talking about the board game) yet in my life until today, thanks to Bill Door's Microsoft.

I switched to the Mozilla Pyrofox browser recently because it is said to be much more safer than the Microsoft Internet Venturer. I went to Microsoft's website just now wanting to download updates for my PC but when I clicked on the "Windows Update" link, I was greeted with the following message:

"We thank you for your interest in Microsoft's updates. However, we can only provide the updates in Internet Venturer. Please switch to Internet Venturer and come back again. You may want to download the latest version of Internet Venturer here. blah blah blah."

Its not exactly what was shown but that is the gist of it.

After switching to Pyrofox, I also encountered problems when accessing my Swelteringmail account. Everytime after I signed in, instead of the mailbox interface, a seemingly never ending list of words and numbers will appear. I need to refresh the window several times before the mailbox appears. How amusing.

Also, when using Pyrofox, my MSN Live Envoy kept logging in and out by itself. Sometimes, I would be in the middle of a chat and the thing will just disconnect and as if to mock me, once it disconnects, a timer will pop up, indicating the amount of time left to re-connection. Why would it disconnect and then reconnect by itself in the first place?

In conclusion, I believe its Microtender's ploy to take over the world - the virtual world that is. No wonder up till now Apple's iLife isn't even anywhere near to Microtender's back.

...

Back to my main point; monopoly. See, once you have monopoly over something, you can more or less bend people to your will. In my case, I am forced to switch back to Internet Venturer because of incompatibility issues between Pyrofox and Microtender-related products.

Anyway I am not really complaining. At least now I can view my blog in normal sized words lol. So Mr. Commando, stop complaining about the large font size on my blog and switch to Internet Venturer. Submit to the insurmountable prowess of Microtender!

*Pardon me for all the paraphrases (eg. Microsoft becomes Microtender). I need to practice my English skills because my Scholarstic Assessment Test, more commonly known as SAT, is due next Saturday.

Goodness gracious me. Its been awhile since I last blogged. Well, cant help it. I am a full time Please-man (when you say it fast enough, thats what policeman sounds like).

As a civil servant of venerable significance, I am entitled to a government SIM card where I can use it to make work-related communications. I am looking for a second phone to use this government SIM card. Actually, I already had a phone in mind. I told Alphonsus about this phone before.

Its the Nokia 8110i. A phone that has been immortalized by the Matrix Trilogy. Talking about Matrix... I am reminded of a joke. Here goes:

That was a boy.

His name is Mat.

His favourite subject is Mat-hematics.

He lives in the Mat-rix.

=AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA=

Ahem. Anyway, yes, I am trying to find this phone. Mr. Commando, if I can find it, we can cos-play! I will be Neo, you be Morpheus. Ted can be Trinity. Elleen will be the Oracle. Kenneth is... Agent Smith? Chia Seng can be the Architect. As for Julian... let him be one of the many replicas of Agent Smith!

I have graduated from my 2 weeks DSO course today. I no longer feel resentful, hateful and apprehensive to my DSO posting. In fact, I am looking forward to starting my job on Monday! The reason being DSO is not just about being a security guard, which I initially assumed. Its more than that, something bigger and actually quite important and indispensable.

Today's graduation was a memorable one. I will remember this day for a long time to come.

Everybody, please address me as Checker Yong!

*Hint hint: Checking something is equivalent to inspecting something."

=15 things you didn't know about your penis=

1. Smoking can shorten your penis by as much as a centimetre. Erections are all about good bloodflow and lighting up calcifies blood vessels, stifling erectile circulation. So even if you don't care all that much about your lungs or dying young, spare the lil'l guy.

2. Doctors can now grow skin for burn victims using the foreskins of circumcised infants. One foreskin can produce 23000 square metres, which would be enough to cover every Major League infield with human flesh.

3. An enlarged prostate gland can cause both erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. If you have an unexplained case of either, your doctor's looking forward to check your prostate. Even if you are not.

4. The average male orgasm lasts 6 seconds. Women get 23 seconds. Which means if women are really interested in equality, they would make sure we have four orgasms for each of theirs.

5. The oldest known species with a penis is a hard-shelled sea creature called Colymbosathon ecplecticos. That's greek for "amazing swimmer with a large penis".

6. Circumcised foreskin can be reconstructed . Movable skin on the shaft of the penis is pulled toward the tip and set in place with tape. Later, doctors apple plastic rings, caps and weights. Years can pass until complete coverage is attained... Okay, I'll shut up now.

7. Only one man in 400 is flexible enough to give himself oral pleasure. It is estimated, however, that all 400 have given it their best shot at some point.

8. There are two types of penises. One kind expands and lengthens when becoming erect (a grower). The other appears big most of the time, but doesn't get much bigger after achieving erection (a shower).

9. An international men's health survey reports that 79% of mean have growers while 21% have showers.

10. German researchers say that the average intercourse lasts 2 minutes and 50 seconds yet women perceive it as lasting 5 minutes and 30 seconds. Are we that good or that bad?

11. Turns out size does matter: the longer your penis, the better "semen displacement" you will achieve when having sex with a woman flush with competing sperm. That's according to researchers at the State University of New York, who used artificial phalluses (ahem) to test the "scooping" mechanism of the penis's coronal ridge. Next up, curing cancer.

12. The penis that has been enjoyed most by women could be that of King Fatefehi of Tonga who supposedly deflowered 37800 women between 1770 and 1784 - that's about 7 ladies a day. Go ahead, say it: It's good to be King.

13. Better looking men may have stronger sperm. Spanish researchers showed women photos of guys who had good, average and lousy sperm and told them to pick the handsomest men. The women chose the best sperm producers often.

14. No brain is necessary for ejaculation. That order comes from the spinal cord. Finding a living vessel for the said ejaculation, however, takes hours of careful thought and, often, considerable amounts of alcohol.

15. The most common cause of penile rupture: vigorous masturbation. Some risks are just worth taking.

I acquired this very peculiar piece of photographic evidence. I wonder who it depicts. Whoever it is, he is in blatant violation of the Environmental and Public Health Act and ought to be prosecuted.

CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP!

why! why in the farkin hell did they assign me to this farkin bloody nonsensical place? did they just farkin create that bloody place so as to show ppl that we are given a chance to be on the ground instead of our usual 9 to 5 desk job?? did they create it to show others that we are capable of leading? farkin chee bye lah that bloody mother effing post is not even a ground post and yet they insist that it is. those son of bitches lying bastards.

i farking well know that i dint farking chose that place and yet they sent me there. and as if sending me to that god forsaken place which i farking did not wan to go is not enuff, that place they farkin took the liberty to send me to is bloody hell far from my house. THANKS ALOT SCUMS! fark your muthas to hell! fark them into bloody oblivion!

no amount of farkin profanity can express how deep my fury is at this farkin moment.

i am so sick of my own life. everything i wan, i won't get. those farkers always told me to "think positively", "be optimistic", "think on the bright side", "look at things from a different perspective". well fark them all to hell and fark them a million times over; thru their eyes, ears, nostrils and fark them with a bloody lance with spiked ends. rip their insides out those motherfucking bunch of farkin liars. i am so bloody disgusted by postivity when all it nets me are negativity. my fantasies nvr materialised but some of my bloody nightmares does.

farkin chee bye, this bloody world is nvr fair and it will farkin stay that bloody way. farkers like me shud jus accept life as it is and stop grumbling. "hey, thats wrong. your life is in your hands. you craft the chapters in your life. you determine your destiny, no one else." whoever says that deserve to be fark till the cow comes home and i will farkin impale him with a spiked flail myself.

wake up and face the farking cold bloody reality. u can farkin bluff and delude yourself by telling yourself "yes, i will work hard. i will work doubly hard." but in the farkin end, if someone bigger than you thinks otherwise then its all over for you. even certain circumstances can force u to give up the life of your dreams because no matter how hard u work, how motivated you are how inspired you are, all your farkin efforts will be in vain because of farkin reality. so dun give me those bullshit abt how my life is in my hands. i will fark you right thru your eye!

counting down: it doesnt farkin matter anymore. life is but a fleeting moment that farking arent worth paying attention to.

Back in Home Team Academy!

Weijie treated me supper; he bought a 6-inch Turkey Subway sandwich for me :D

How delightful..

I completed the 15km Real Run in 1hour 19minutes and 19 seconds today. It is 4 minutes slower than the mock timing which I ran last monday in HTA but I have no complaints because I made it below my 1hour 20minutes aim haha.

The sun, sand and sea felt so great as I ran past them! I am so in love with the wide open spaces of Changi Coast Road.

Some of the uncles running were damn zai. They even took the liberty to overtake me! People like them deserve respect, senior yet fit and sturdy.

In any case, a sense of accomplishment pulsed through every single vein and artillery(...) in my body when I crossed the finishing line. I think I did ok for my first quarter marathon hehe.

Counting down: 1+ days to passing out!

Walk-out walk-out walk-out day!

Today is our last walk-out day from Home Team Academy.
As with the past few days, we rehearsed our passing out parade today as well.

We will now be waiting for the arrival of Commander of Training Command.
Hormat commander! Hormat senja-ta!
We will now be waiting for the arrival of Commissioner of Police.
Hormat Police! Hormat senja-ta!
We will now be waiting for the arrival of the reviewing officer.
Hormat panglima! Hormat senja-ta!
The reviewing officer will now be inspecting the parade.
Inspection over.
Trainees that have done well during their training in TRACOM will be awarded...

I have been going through all these procedures continuosly for the past few days to the extent that I will even think about them when I reach my orgasm after copulating with a certain voluptious and seductious female. Maybe thats not a very apt analogy but you guys know what I am talking about.

To put it in nicer terms, the parade procedures are already boiled melon rotten ripe to me already. Hehe.

Today's rehearsal was vetted by our Commanding Officer Leadership Training and Fitness, Superintendent of Police Bernie Ho. Yesterday's was by Deputy Commander Training Command, Superintendent of Police Tan Chong Hee. Both Superintendents were satisfied with our parade generally though they also pinpointed out some segments which we could further improved on.

At night, we had our farewell nite dinner at the mess hall with the rest of the police officers that will be passing out together with us. Let's just say that the dinner wasn't exactly very enjoyable. There still exists some traces of animousity between us and them. The food contributed largely to the unpleasantness of the dinner as well. Our rice was cold and the keropoke we had became chewy (lose wind). Even our initially cold drinks became warm. It appears that our food was served nicely on the table half an hour before we arrived at the mess hall. We were expecting some good food considering that it was our farewell dinner. Even though we didn't get what we expected, we got a surprise. Shitty food again! We can always depend on CIAS Enterprises to provide the lousiest quality of food for our money. (E.g. If you pay $5, you will get the worst kind of food which $5 can buy).

I am eating Maggi Mee Chicken Tanmien as I wam blogging.

The 2 diamonds will come soon. Mwahaha!

Counting down: 3 more days to passing out.

Tonight, OCT 2 and OCT3 held a farewell party for us OCT1.


Seven months ago, our military NS life were abruptly terminated. I, along with 39 other lucky Privates, were suddenly entrusted with the responsibility to become senior police officers. We entered Home Team Academy as total strangers and now, we would be passing out together as the Guard of Honour next Tuesday.


How time flies.


Soon, each and every one of us will be posted to the various departments of the Singapore Police Force; some might see each other again in their postings while some might be the only one in the place where he is posted to. But, the 46th batch of OCT will never be the same again. These few days might very well be the last few days which we are together as a squad.


Once we embarked on our new NS journies, we will each be busy with our own stuff. Getting together as a whole squad again will be difficult, if not, unlikely. Perhaps some of us might still keep in contact but most often than not, we simply just move on.


The 46th batch of OCT, everything we did, will be shelved away in a corner of our minds. Ten, twenty years down the road, we might reminisce the times we spent in the Academy. We might remember our Chairman. We might recall our joker. We might remember the water wars. We might remember our Course Manager.


We might forget everything.


Nothing gold stays forever. Perhaps that is an irrefutable truth of life.

HUAT AH!

I JUST FINISHED RUNNING 15 KILOMETERS IN 1 HOUR AND 15 MINUTES AND 20 SECONDS.

I AM SO PRIDE OF MYSELF.

We spent the whole day today rehearsing for our passing out parade. It was so exhausting.

We kept doing the same thing over and over again; marching in, marching out, hormat senjata, durone senjata, slow march, fast march etc. Not forgetting to mention the countless minutes we have to stand still to simulate the reviewing officer's speech, waiting for the arrival of the guest of honor.

When there is really a reviewing officer up on the stage speaking, it didn't feel that long and unbearable because at the very least, the speech provide some form of distraction for us. When we just stood there, keeping darn still, pretending that there is an imaginary reviewing officer speaking to us, time seem to stand still along with us as well.

We also had to endure the constand shoutings and yellings from our instructors who would not hesitate to blast through the microphone at us if we were to make any unacceptable mistake (e.g moving while at sir dee ya position).

Guards of Honour...

Anyway, I started watching Jikoku Shoujo. It was somewhat occultish as I expected.

The anime is a series of short stories and each story describes the suffering of a different individual caused by one or more antagonists. A website know as "Hotline to Hell" may only be accessed at midnight by those who wishes to exact his vengeance upon his tormentors. Once someone submit the name of his tormentors on the website, the Jikoku Shoujo will appear before him. Upon the victim's (the one that submitted the name) consent, Jikoku Shoujo will send the tormentor to hell immediately.

But there is no free lunch in this world. In return, the victim will have to pay a heavy price. When the victim

Talk about revenge is a dish best served cold.

Counting down: 7 more days to passing out.

Goodness gracious me, I can't believe it!

I found a song which I have been looking for the past decade! No joke! I am so elated.

Its called "I saved the world today" by Eurythmics. The last time I heard it was when I was still a primary school kid. It was playing on the radio in a KFC outlet at Novena Ville. I was eating with my small aunt, my younger cousin and my elder cousin.

Mesmerized by the tune at that time, I sang the chorus, with my mouth full of Zinger burger, repeatedly. It was so enchanting...

"Hey hey I saved the world today.
Everybody is happy now, the bad things' gone away.
Everybody is happy now, the good things' here to stay.
Please let it stay..."

...until my cousin snapped me back to reality. Apparently she got disgusted by seeing the crunched up burger in my mouth and scolded me. I can still remember her words: "OEI! Eating sing what sing!". That shut me up.

How nolstagic.

10 years down the road. That KFC outlet has already closed down. My cousin who scolded me is already married. I am already 19. How time flies...

Anyway, I am not the only one that found some good stuff tonight.
My buddy Wedgie finally found an anime website which has "Jikoku Shoujo" (literally "Hell Girl") on it after searching for the past week. It was recommended by me initially for its occult-ness. Yes, I am interested in the occult; so is my buddy.

The first few episodes are quite nice according to him. I am gonna watch it soon too.

Counting down: 8 more days to passing out.

Finally found myself a decent blogskin. Something plain and simple and nice.

From my hunt for the right blogskin for my blog, I realised that there are alot of emo-ish, gothish and lovish type of blog skins. There are so many of them!

I wonder why people nowadays are so emotional.

Unbelievable! I've lost weight!


This Disney t-shirt used to be a tight fit for me but when I wore it today for the first time since January, it fits me like a slightly oversized t-shirt!






This proves that I have lost weight and along with it, my muscle mass! Argh!

The continuous running incorporated into my physical training program and the CMI mess food played a large part in the degeneration of my muscular physique.


The police force stole my masculinity from me!


I want ma muscles back!

"Every time after school during my junior college days, I would walk down Bartley Road to the bus stop next to Thomson Road. From there, I would take bus service number “131” home.

Every time I want to watch a movie, I would take bus service number “131” to the Shaw Plaza cinemas at Balestier Road. Along the way, I would pass by Thomson Medical Centre, Novena Square and United Square.

I passed by those buildings again today, not as a student going home on a bus, not as a civilian going out to have fun but as a police officer patrolling the streets in a police car.

A police officer with a mission; to eradicate crime and strike fear in all those that are inclined to criminal activities."

All right, the above paragraph was meant to be on this blog about one week ago on the 5th of October but I was lazy to type it then. Never mind never mind, it made it here today. You guys read it so I guess its fine.

Anyway its the introductory paragraph for my attachment report in case you are all wondering what the fish am I typing about. I was attached to Tanglin Police Division from the 5th to the 14th of October as part of my training for National Service Probationary Inspector.

We had a Scenario Based Training this morning. The squad was divided into two groups, the role players and the police officers. The role players would create trouble and the police officers were to attend to the scene of incident. This SBT further reinforces what I have already learnt during my attachment.

A police officer must really expect the unexpected. We do not have a single universal guideline on how to attend to cases. All cases are different and unique by itself. Therefore, it is imperative for us to have a flexible mind, initiative and foresight. We must also remember the 3 "C"s - Cool, Calm and Collected because as police officers, we must be in control of the situation and not let the situation control us. This can happen only when we have a clear thinking mind.

Then again, I don't think I am gonna sign on. So I guess it doesn't matter.

Ce qui est l'amour?